Mitch McConnell

Republican Creature Features

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I usually save the horror parodies for Halloween, but this summer’s news has been inviting them ahead of schedule. This usually is the time of year studios put out at least a few of their new spooky stuff in theaters so they can double-dip digital rentals in October.

McConnell froze up in the middle of a press conference a couple weeks ago, and I’ve learned not to get my hopes up. I’m going to be adding more gruesome ailments to my depiction of him and the fucker’s gonna outlive me; like some kind of mashup between the picture of Dorian Gray and the dude on the game Operation.

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Media Perverts

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I’ve been closely following the news and news commentary for a quarter century now and drawing cartoons about it almost as long. Sick freaks from the top down to the lowly cartoonist at bottom.

Quitting Twitter has spared me from catching a lot of the worst takes people rage share, and it’s been a marked improvement on my quality of life. Yet somehow I still see the worst offenders when they cross over to the more earnest folks over on Mastodon.

I drew myself in better shape than my last self-insert and you’ll just have to trust me that it’s accurate.

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Chuck Schumer’s Senate Schedule

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Chuck Schumer holding a Senate schedule.
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Democrats secured another Senate seat this week and that should improve the confirmation and committee process over there. But the House is in Republican hands, so we’ll be lucky if a bare bones funding bill can get through both chambers before another financial crisis.

My meta-commentary about 2024 isn’t technically about 2024, but consider me part of the problem.

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The Monster Fash

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The Criterion Channel launched some great Halloween collections this week, the same week the Supreme Court began a new session. So I’ve been enjoying the escapism from real horrors with fictional ones.

Until the court’s expanded, or ignoring their unenforceable rulings becomes commonplace, these six freaks are going to do a lot of damage. (Unless two of them croak while a Democrat is President, before they say that’s unconstitutional.)

There are many, and far superior Halloween novelty songs than the Monster Mash, but it’s hard to top Werewolf Bar Mitzvah and Monster Fuck.

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GOP Midterm Messaging

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You don’t roll out a new advertising campaign until after Labor Day. With the midterms coming up, the GOP is in need of a new one. They’re currently polling lower than Democrats, which is surprising if you have the same view of Democratic leadership as I do.

This could all change in two months, but for now, it’s nice to see them ineptly flailing about for once.

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Forever Stamping Out Democracy

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There was an unveiling ceremony for a new Nancy Reagan stamp at the White House this week. Combined with Biden’s claims of McConnell and other Republicans being reasonable, I’m not too confident that tonight’s insurrection hearing will have much effect on stopping our slide into fascism.

Happy to be wrong, though!

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Economics Kinks

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More fiduciary fun this week. Funds for COVID mitigation measures are being held up in the Senate by Republicans and the usual Democratic suspects to keep Title 42. It was written by Stephen Miller using COVID as a pretext to unilaterally deport anyone seeking asylum from a country where COVID’s run rampant with nary a mitigation measure, like the United States right now, for one example.

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Holidays at the White House

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Legislation may be out of Biden’s control, although he’s chosen to not make any offers or demands to Manchin and Sinema to get them on board. But it is absolutely within his power to waive vaccine patents and slow down yet another variant.

He can also cancel student debt and stop abusing immigrants with the flick of an executive order. And Santa can see that he hasn’t.

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