Republicans


NBC’s Pundit Search

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NBC hired former RNC chair Ronna McDaniel for a few minutes before rescinding the offer after employees and viewers voiced their disgust with having a coup-enabler on TV to lie about another election. The problem they and every other news outlet has is that there are no more mainstream Republicans who oppose doing another coup.

So they either have to point this out, or pretend the guy who’s been at the top of the Republican ticket for nearly a decade now is some weird aberration, instead of the standard-bearer of America’s fascist party. Presenting the fiction probably makes selling ads a lot easier.

Only a little more than six months for NBC and the rest of the media to figure out that both-sides-ing fascism won’t save them.

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Speaker of the House Auditions

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Nine months after he barely squeaked into the speakership, Kevin McCarthy was ousted by the Ding-Dong Caucus. I was pleasantly surprised the Democrats didn’t bail him out for the sake of “norms, bipartisanship” or some other bullshit. McCarthy refused to make any concessions to earn that kind of unprecedented act and deserves to be the historical footnote he is.

More shutdowns and parliamentary brinkmanship are sure to ensue, but they were already going to under McCarthy. Best to make the Republicans flail around and demonstrate just how unfit for office they’ve always been.

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Republican Textbook Fair

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My birthday and the long weekend almost coincide, so I’m getting this out early. Stores are already past back-to-school season and stocked with Halloween junk, but it’s still summer to me and my poor beleaguered air conditioners.

The attempts by Republican-led states to rewrite history seems laughable, but we got everyone to forget a pandemic that’s still happening, so anything’s possible.

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Republican Creature Features

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I usually save the horror parodies for Halloween, but this summer’s news has been inviting them ahead of schedule. This usually is the time of year studios put out at least a few of their new spooky stuff in theaters so they can double-dip digital rentals in October.

McConnell froze up in the middle of a press conference a couple weeks ago, and I’ve learned not to get my hopes up. I’m going to be adding more gruesome ailments to my depiction of him and the fucker’s gonna outlive me; like some kind of mashup between the picture of Dorian Gray and the dude on the game Operation.

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Beware of the Speaker

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As soon as Republicans squeaked out control of the House last November, I did a bunch of cartoons predicting this debt ceiling mess and ways to avoid it. Instead, the White House was high on their own supply and believed Republicans would magically become rational and not do the thing they campaigned on doing.

The solutions have been out there, being shouted by nobodies like myself, and “serious” people since the first time this happened during the Obama Administration. But arguments for the Trillion Dollar Coin and 14th Amendment hold little sway in a White House still enamored with the opinions of centrist toilet men.

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House Programming Guide

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This Congress is barely a month old and already beyond parody. I suppose I’ll continue mocking them until the last checks on their power are gone and our country completes its final spin down the toilet bowl.

I didn’t watch the State of the Union, since that’s always old news by the end of the week it happens. All the genius pundits say it’s the unofficial start of the 2024 campaign, so say goodbye to any meaningful legislation getting passed through this bunch.

I watched The Menu instead. Highly recommended and not just because of the shoutout to my hometown of Brockton, MA.

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Janet Yellen’s Weird Tricks to Get Out of Debt

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We did this already.

Republicans will use the debt ceiling to hold the global economy hostage whenever they can because Democrats let them. If we weren’t so used to this charade, it would sound sillier than a Trillion Dollar Coin or flat out ignoring the ceiling because it’s unconstitutional under the 4th clause of the 14th Amendment.

This crop of House Republicans is even more deranged than the last time we did this default brinkmanship, so get ready to barter for those eggs you can’t afford if you aren’t already.

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Speaker of the House Alternates

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There might be a Speaker of the House before anyone sees this, but not as of this posting. It is a pleasant change of pace to see “Republicans in disarray” be the media narrative of the week.

However, if the Democrats expelled and banned the Treason Caucus when they had the chamber and popular support following the coup, we wouldn’t be in this situation. At least they are (so far) not listening to idiot centrists’ calls for them to help the Republicans out of their own mess.

Six Republicans could end this by siding with the Dems, but governing isn’t really among any of their priorities. It’s all spectacle and obstruction to win the next election, so I guess we’re all screwed.

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