Republicans


Janet Yellen’s Weird Tricks to Get Out of Debt

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We did this already.

Republicans will use the debt ceiling to hold the global economy hostage whenever they can because Democrats let them. If we weren’t so used to this charade, it would sound sillier than a Trillion Dollar Coin or flat out ignoring the ceiling because it’s unconstitutional under the 4th clause of the 14th Amendment.

This crop of House Republicans is even more deranged than the last time we did this default brinkmanship, so get ready to barter for those eggs you can’t afford if you aren’t already.

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Speaker of the House Alternates

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There might be a Speaker of the House before anyone sees this, but not as of this posting. It is a pleasant change of pace to see “Republicans in disarray” be the media narrative of the week.

However, if the Democrats expelled and banned the Treason Caucus when they had the chamber and popular support following the coup, we wouldn’t be in this situation. At least they are (so far) not listening to idiot centrists’ calls for them to help the Republicans out of their own mess.

Six Republicans could end this by siding with the Dems, but governing isn’t really among any of their priorities. It’s all spectacle and obstruction to win the next election, so I guess we’re all screwed.

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Swing Voters Explain Themselves

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The midterms are rapidly approaching and the polls between “fascists” and “milquetoast not-fascists” are closer than they should be. The mainstream press loves a horserace, even when the consequences are life and death for millions of people. Gaffes are easier to report (and draw) than all the mechanisms Republicans are going to use to end what little democracy we have left if given control of Congress once more.

But get your “I Voted.” sticker anyway. These idiots will.

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GOP Midterm Messaging

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You don’t roll out a new advertising campaign until after Labor Day. With the midterms coming up, the GOP is in need of a new one. They’re currently polling lower than Democrats, which is surprising if you have the same view of Democratic leadership as I do.

This could all change in two months, but for now, it’s nice to see them ineptly flailing about for once.

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Matt Gaetz’s Impeachment Stall Tactics

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This failson makes Trey Gowdy look like a dignified statesman. If you’re old enough to remember the Brooks Brothers Riot, you know we’re in for a very bad time. And somehow Dick Cheney is still alive for this one, too. No silver linings.

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G.O.P. Triage

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Republicans are spending their Fourth of July weekend trying to strip their fellow Americans of health insurance and vital Medicaid funding.

I am going to eat hot dogs, because unlike them, I’m a patriotic citizen.

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