comics

Goon School   Recently updated !

This entry was posted in comics and tagged CBP DHS Greg Bovino ICE Kristi Noem Stephen Miller Todd Lyons Tom Homan on by
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ICE, CBP, and the rest of the DHS secret police divisions are terrorizing the Twin Cities for protesting their murder of Renee Good, who was out protecting her neighbors these goons were originally targeting. The “Immigration” and “Customs” portion of the ICE acronym were rendered meaningless decades ago, and now the only thing they’re enforcing are the whims of a demented, smelly old man and his team of racist elder abusers.

Todd Lyons has been the acting director of ICE this entire time, but he’s kept a lower profile than the rest of these ghouls over the past year. Unfamiliar with what he looks like, I did some research, and the difference between his official portrait and what he actually looks like is striking.

Don’t become a functionary for a fascist pogrom if you want to keep your youthful looks, kids. Hopefully the accelerated aging it’s causing affects them all by spring.

Any city in a blue state could be targeted next, so stay safe out there and look out for your neighbors

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Project 2026   Recently updated !

This entry was posted in comics and tagged Border Patrol Donald Trump Elon Musk ICE JD Vance Marco Rubio protest RFK Jr. on by
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What a year this week has been, huh? I was mostly done with this cartoon when ICE agent Jonathan Ross murdered Renee Good in Minneapolis, so I shoehorned an oblique reference to it in Rubio’s comments. The only surprising thing is that it took this long for these untrained goons to kill someone the media couldn’t ignore.

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Bari Minutes

This entry was posted in comics and tagged Bari Weiss CBS David Ellison media Stephen Miller television on by
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Bari Weiss’s reign of errors continues at CBS News. Besides pulling a 60 Minutes segment on CECOT (That was broadcast in free countries anyway), she’s installed herself as the on-camera host for a series of bizarre town halls with other unphotogenic conservatives, including JD Vance, Erika Kirk, and the Toilet Ghoulie from the VHS box art for the movie “Ghoulies.” Nobody’s watching, and more importantly, advertisers aren’t buying.

As for what’s going on at the rest of David Ellison’s CBS/Paramount/Skydance, I don’t know. Kathy Bates is Matlock now? I don’t have grandparents, so there’s no one to clue me into what’s going on over there besides football games. Go Pats, I guess!

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Incredible Global News 2025

This entry was posted in comics and tagged affirmative action David Ellison Donald Trump gambling Mark Zuckerberg television on by
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Some goofs and gags to close out the year (or until next week when I draw something else).

The last panel is inspired by the alt-text I wrote for this Bluesky post. Larry’s failson is destroying CBS and Paramount by installing people even dumber than him, I assume. After this was already inked, Bari Weiss killed a 60 Minutes piece about our CECOT concentration camp in El Salvador. I’m sure she’ll fail up even further and get appointed to Captain on Strange New Worlds.

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Last-Minute Grifts

This entry was posted in comics and tagged Border Patrol CBP Greg Bovino ICE Kash Patel Pam Bondi Russell Vought Tom Homan on by
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Except for Pam Bondi, who I drew a couple weeks ago, I managed to go almost the whole year without drawing these particular administration freaks. Looking at their faces the last two days has dealt me tremendous psychological damage.

We’ll all have to look at them for three more years, unless something very cool happens. With the way 2025’s going, I doubt 2026 has anything like that in store for us. But here’s to hoping!

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More Schmaltzmark Channel Holiday Specials

This entry was posted in comics and tagged Defense Department fast fashion holidays influencers Pete Hegseth Venezuela war crimes on by
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Just two weeks till Christmas and I’m making a recurring bit of a thing I did last year to give me some lead time to wrap things up to meet my end-of-year deadlines. Most of these are silly little gags that could be evergreen except for the unprovoked attacks on Venezuelan boats.

The administration and Pete Hegseth are widely loathed for their actions, but Congress just renewed the National Defense Authorization Act to keep funding their atrocities. Too much of the economy is wrapped up in that bill to shut it down, and whatever’s left is trapped in the A.I. bubble that’s about to burst.

Anyway, happy holidays!

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Leaked MRIs

This entry was posted in comics and tagged Donald Trump Elon Musk Jeff Bezos Larry Ellison Stephen Miller on by
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They’re trucking Trump up to the National Zoo every other week to put him in the large animal MRI, and the official line is that he’s in perfect health with a good brain. Whatever it really is, it needs to hurry up and be extremely painful. Hopefully it happens over the holiday break so we can all celebrate as a nation.

I’ve referenced the movie Innerspace before and like everything Joe Dante made in the ’80s it was extremely influential to me. Gremlins 3 might finally be happening, but Chris Columbus is attached to direct, which seems specifically designed to infuriate nerds like me. I know everyone’s watching Home Alone this time of year, but that guy’s not good!

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