Republican Creature Features

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I usually save the horror parodies for Halloween, but this summer’s news has been inviting them ahead of schedule. This usually is the time of year studios put out at least a few of their new spooky stuff in theaters so they can double-dip digital rentals in October.

McConnell froze up in the middle of a press conference a couple weeks ago, and I’ve learned not to get my hopes up. I’m going to be adding more gruesome ailments to my depiction of him and the fucker’s gonna outlive me; like some kind of mashup between the picture of Dorian Gray and the dude on the game Operation.

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