Congress


A.I. for Government and Business

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I know there was an actual Trump indictment and arraignment this week, but I have to get ahead for some real-life stuff and did an evergreen comic.

AI’s always invoked to replace labor, never management or any job that wields actual power. I’m decades away from the last time I wrote a computer program, but I guarantee you it’s easier to automate the work of the guys who turn spreadsheets into human misery than anyone doing anything useful for society.

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House Programming Guide

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This Congress is barely a month old and already beyond parody. I suppose I’ll continue mocking them until the last checks on their power are gone and our country completes its final spin down the toilet bowl.

I didn’t watch the State of the Union, since that’s always old news by the end of the week it happens. All the genius pundits say it’s the unofficial start of the 2024 campaign, so say goodbye to any meaningful legislation getting passed through this bunch.

I watched The Menu instead. Highly recommended and not just because of the shoutout to my hometown of Brockton, MA.

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Janet Yellen’s Weird Tricks to Get Out of Debt

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We did this already.

Republicans will use the debt ceiling to hold the global economy hostage whenever they can because Democrats let them. If we weren’t so used to this charade, it would sound sillier than a Trillion Dollar Coin or flat out ignoring the ceiling because it’s unconstitutional under the 4th clause of the 14th Amendment.

This crop of House Republicans is even more deranged than the last time we did this default brinkmanship, so get ready to barter for those eggs you can’t afford if you aren’t already.

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Speaker of the House Alternates

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There might be a Speaker of the House before anyone sees this, but not as of this posting. It is a pleasant change of pace to see “Republicans in disarray” be the media narrative of the week.

However, if the Democrats expelled and banned the Treason Caucus when they had the chamber and popular support following the coup, we wouldn’t be in this situation. At least they are (so far) not listening to idiot centrists’ calls for them to help the Republicans out of their own mess.

Six Republicans could end this by siding with the Dems, but governing isn’t really among any of their priorities. It’s all spectacle and obstruction to win the next election, so I guess we’re all screwed.

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Chuck Schumer’s Senate Schedule

Chuck Schumer holding a Senate schedule.
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Democrats secured another Senate seat this week and that should improve the confirmation and committee process over there. But the House is in Republican hands, so we’ll be lucky if a bare bones funding bill can get through both chambers before another financial crisis.

My meta-commentary about 2024 isn’t technically about 2024, but consider me part of the problem.

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Kevin McCarthy’s Anti-American Agenda

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Results are shaking out from last week’s election, and the Republicans will get a thin majority in the House, thanks mostly to New York Democrats rather than anything appealing offered by the GOP. Of course, if the Coup Caucus was expelled, and thorough impeachment trials were held, things probably never would’ve been this close.

So now we get another two years of debt ceiling crises, hearings about nothing, and nonstop coverage of Trump’s rallies now that he’s officially declared what we all knew he was gonna do.

At least the Senate didn’t change hands, so non-Federalist Society judges can get confirmed for two more years. Fingers crossed Ginni spills lube all over her and Clarence’s bathroom before time runs out on that too.

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Bill Barr’s Too Busy to Testify

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Attorney General William Barr was quickly confirmed to do the obstruction that even Jeff Sessions and the interim A.G./Toilet Salesman wouldn’t do. Anyone in government that’s surprised the Iran-Contra cover-up guy is bad shouldn’t be allowed to drive, let alone govern.

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Town Hall Exit Plans

Republicans are having a difficult time at town halls in their home districts. Constituents are rightfully angry at them for going along with whatever President Trump wants to do, and letting them hear what they think.

Louie Gohmert not only cancelled his town halls , but cited Gabby Giffords’ shooting as his reason. Not exactly the bravest stance from someone who thinks guns should be everywhere except near him.

The birthday cake gag may seem like a non sequitur, but Tom Cotton really likes birthday cake. Here’s the proof.

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