Donald Trump


Presidential Hiding Locations

(panel 1 - Title on a Secret Service dossier.)
Presidential Hiding Locations
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After dubious intelligence from the Israelis about an Iranian assassination plot, the Secret Service whisked Trump off of Air Force One in a catering cart and flew his fat ass to the UK on a military plane. Members of his cabinet and the press remained on the decoy plane which is a very funny way to find out you’re not in his inner circle after a decade spent debasing yourself to get in his (quite smelly) orbit.

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Blight at the Museums

(panel 1 - Title pasted over a Smithsonian Museum sign.)
Blight at the Museums
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Trump’s been beefing with the Smithsonian ever since he got back into office. The attacks have ramped up recently, with signs warning passersby that dangerous facts may lurk in the various museums that surround the National Mall. Unlike the National Parks, the Smithsonian has resisted most of his meddling so far, but American Institutions don’t have a great track record when it comes to fighting this latest round of fascism.

These free museums are the jewel of DC’s Federal Zone, which would be otherwise full of nothing but lanyard-wearing dweebs or Nazi dweebs in khakis. I’ve never made it to the Air and Space Museum’s annex at Dulles, or the Intrepid Museum in NYC, so I’ve yet to see one of the retired Space Shuttles. I’ll have to make do with the ancient Gemini capsule replica at Boston’s Museum of Science that’s been there since I was a little kid.

Headlines, and my comics as well, have mostly moved on, but Trump was best friends with deceased pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. It’s a real easy way to remember that Trump is the worst without having to get into the weeds about any given week’s controversy.

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Reflecting Pool Party

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The Reflecting Pool Saga has been an amusing synecdoche for this administration’s incompetence. Unlike everything else they’ve touched, no actual people have been killed (yet, and sorry to diminish the lives of those poor ducks), although several have been arrested for touching the paint that JJ Carafo was paid $1.7 million to slap on there before it immediately started peeling.

Somehow people manage to maintain large pools throughout the world, even in Florida, without them becoming toxic sludge within a week. But every contractor who knows what they’re doing knows Trump doesn’t honor contracts, so only grifters were left to do the grifter-in-chief’s work for his tacky 250th July 4th celebrations in DC.

Our country stinks, but I’ll be celebrating anyway, eating lobster rolls somewhere away from all the tourists in Boston for the holiday, and watching illegal fireworks neighbors smuggled south from New Hampshire. I hope you’ll be having some fun over the long weekend too.

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New Cards for 2026

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The World Cup is underway in North America, and these cards should only be applied for games played in the United States. There’s no way Canada and Mexico can fuck things up at the same level as our rapidly declining empire.

I’ve been watching some of the group stage matches, and running into wonderful crowds of Scots, Haitians, and Norwegians in Boston while they party and wait to be herded onto our slapped together commuter rail route to Foxboro. This is normally a line that only functions for NFL, MLS, and concerts, since not a lot of people live out there for regular commuting purposes.

A month of matches has put strain on that system, so the MBTA has diverted trains from other routes to support the increased volume. Getting people to Foxboro has gone rather smoothly, since they can stagger the trains, but everyone at the stadium obviously wants to leave as soon as the games end and that’s led to some clusterfucks, but everyone’s having fun.

Except for Iran’s team, who’ve been forced to hop on planes immediately after their US games since we’re being dicks and not allowing them to stay overnight. It’s pettiness like this that makes Trump’s surrendering to Iran to end the war he started utterly humiliating for him and everyone stupid enough to think that war was gonna turn out any other way.

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America’s Pest Threats

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Once eradicated in the United States, screwworms are back thanks to this administration. I only knew about botflies previously, and apparently they’re nicer than screwworms, since they typically don’t kill their host.

I was already squicked out by bugs thanks to my blister beetle encounter (May’s exclusive comic for $5/mo patrons), and this screwworm news will be keeping me far away from any county fair livestock this summer.

Does this cartoon have any nuance or satire beyond “These guys are gross and they literally suck?” No, but I had fun drawing it and I think I captured RFK Jr.’s true form.

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Insurrectionist Slush Fund Sweepstakes

(panel 1 - Title on a novelty check held by Trump.)
Insurrectionist Slush Fund Sweepstakes
Trump, "Every LOSER is a WINNER!"
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Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche put together quite the sweetheart deal for every January 6th C.H.U.D. and set aside nearly $2 billion to compensate them for the pain of facing mild consequences after attempting to overthrow the government. Also in this blatantly corrupt deal was blanket immunity for Trump, and anyone he’s related to, for financial crimes, and probably every other type of crime as well. (I’m not reading all of it.)

This entire century has been ruined by people favoring “looking forward” rather than make anyone responsible of its horrors face a single consequence, and things keep ratcheting for the worse every time. At least Jay Johnston gets a fat check after his Bob’s Burgers ones ran out.

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White House Correspondents’ Dinner Menu

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The White House Correspondents’ Dinner is still happening next weekend, despite Trump constantly wiping his doo-doo ass with the First Amendment, threatening to jail real journalists, and in some cases having his goons actually follow through. The preening bozos who will be attending and hosting this thing are more gossip columnists and state propagandists than the journalists Trump is targeting, and none of them are even good at the job like Leni Riefenstahl.

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Fast Feud

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This is an exclusive for $5+ monthly patrons. Reader support is essential and I’m beefing up my Patreon output to reflect that. Not just for the $5+ tier, either. For only $1 a month, you can see my weekly cartoons before anyone else, as well as posts and livestreams that I don’t make available anywhere else.

And if you’re already a subscriber, THANK YOU!

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