Donald Trump

Epstein Excuses   Recently updated !

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A scandal is finally sticking to Trump because his dementia has caused him to forget about the Streisand Effect. He previously plowed past every outrage and continued being the worst person on Earth to his adoring fans. For whatever reason, the Epstein accusations are really causing our swollen big boy distress and only an idiot would stop pressing him on the issue.

And if Bill Clinton gets dragged down with him, I say: GOOD.

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Pictures of JD Vance to Delete Before Entering the United States   Recently updated !

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Tourists are getting harassed by Border Patrol for having silly pictures of JD Vance on their phones (which are now routinely searched along with all social media activity) so I figured I’d add to the available material.

It’s been about a year since Vance was trotted out as the VP nominee and he’s been telling baseless lies ever since. Rather than waste time refuting things even he doesn’t believe, he should be mocked and ridiculed. It’s impossible to bully a guy who’s one slip n’ fall away from becoming the most powerful person in the world.

Tim Walz was right to call him a weird couch fucker before the consultants ruined the Minnesota zing-master.

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Republican Budget Games

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Fascism now has a congressionally approved budget and the Supreme Court’s seal of approval. Happy 4th of July anyway. Jefferson and Adams both died on that date and maybe it’ll happen again.

This budget is a horror show and gives ICE enough funding to send a whole team in ill-fitting tactical gear to rendition me for depicting them as a Kirby-pig. They’re already building the camps and anyone who thinks you’re being hyperbolic for saying this is a blissful idiot. I’m honestly jealous of their ignorance. Knowing the horrors that are coming doesn’t feel great, man.

I’m old and had an NES during my formative years, then moved over to the Sega Genesis instead of the SNES. I had the N64 and Gamecube in college, but references run dry once I moved over to the Playstation.

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Summer Stinkers

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I’ve been too busy to see any new movies this year. I’ll definitely check out Sinners when it hits VOD and I get our TV set up at a new apartment. Everything else looks like an airplane watch, and I ain’t going on one of those any time soon, unless Nathan Fielder is the pilot.

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Trump’s Tariff Rations

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The container ships have slowed to a crawl (not because of something funny like the one that got stuck in the Suez Canal), and soon shelves will be empty. Many people predicted this would happen the night of the election. Unfortunately all of them were at home pulling their hair out while people on TV were chattering about all the other misery they’d soon be gleefully covering.

I was a kid in the ’80s when there were jokes and whole sitcom episodes about the empty shelves in the Soviet Union and its satellites. Now we’ll be the ones smuggling blue jeans and records printed on old x-rays.

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Unfocused Groups

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Ever since the 2016 election, the New York Times has been doing Trump Voter Safaris for their ostensibly liberal audience to either gawk at or empathize with. They are a sideshow from the people with real power. And now they’re being moderated by Frank Luntz, which is especially gross for any of us old enough to remember his role in shaping Republican messaging in the early aughts.

Scrutinizing Trump’s supporters individually is a waste of time while authoritarianism runs amok and time runs out to stop it. But those daffy bastards sure are fun to goof on online.

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White House Approved Programming

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Paramount needs federal approval for a merger, so they’re bending over backwards to appease the administration (it won’t work, they’ll just demand more obedience) by neutering CBS’s autonomy in its news coverage. Other corporate media giants have done the same to pre-emptively appease an administration that barely squeaked out a win and is already underwater in every conceivable poll.

That might work for some industries, but the media requires appealing to audiences bigger than one demented individual in the White House.

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Hegseth’s Texts

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After two month’s of what would be the end of any other administration’s scandals, the one that seems to have stuck is Pete Hegseth communicating war crimes through insecure channels. The war crimes themselves are the same stuff we’ve been doing for a quarter century, but the Department of Defense at least tried to wait a while before letting the media know about it.

Hegseth was grossly unqualified from the get-go, and his boozy stink should be on every senator who voted to confirm him, or anyone in this fascist cabinet. Another thing this leak illustrates is how little Trump is involved in his own administration. These goons are free to do whatever freak shit they want while the demented president golfs or watches TV.

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