coup

Republican Primaries’ Cryptid Candidates

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Like I wrote last week, I’m only aware of the 2024 also-rans due to my proximity to New Hampshire. They have some real freaks, but you-know-who’s going to be the nominee. More states should follow Colorado and Maine’s lead and kick him off the ballot, but the Supreme Court is packed with coup-lovin’ shitheads, so I’m not hopeful.

Unlike the Republican freak-of-the-week, I could draw cryptids forever. I only saw a moose once, so I count it as a cryptid. If that’s not satisfying, pretend I drew the aliens that “abducted” Betty and Barney Hill for New Hampshire instead.

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Holiday Recipes

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The holidays snuck up on me, and judging by the Halloween decorations that were up in my neighborhood until this week, the same happened to a lot of people. We finally got our tree up and I’m sure it will be providing living room cheer through most of January.

I can’t say I’ve tested any of these recipes except for Grandma’s Edibles. And now that every formerly vacant storefront in Massachusetts is a dispensary that’s oversaturated the market with affordable edibles, I don’t think I will ever again.

Mike Johnson’s still Speaker and doing evil things quietly enough to avoid much mainstream media scrutiny. The guy’s a coup true believer and Democrats better come up with a better nickname than “MAGA Mike” before it’s too late.

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Ethics* of the Supreme Court

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After numerous reports of bribery, Federalist Society influence, and seditious spouses among the Supreme Court’s conservative supermajority, they finally came out with a toothless code of ethics to get those dang meddling reporters off their backs. I don’t think it’ll work on anyone except their good friend and cocktail party hostess, Nina Totenberg.

This code of ethics can be toothless because Congress and the President refuse to use any of the levers of power at their disposal to rein in the judicial coup that’s been amassing unaccountable power since at least Bush v. Gore (In which Thomas, Kavanaugh, and Coney Barrett were all well-documented players).

For the next year we’re going to be told that the election’s all about control of the Supreme Court, but with neither party willing to put any checks on their power, it’s really up to the Grim Reaper to make a few calls first.

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Meet Mike Johnson

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After three weeks of chaos, the House Republicans finally settled on their generic right-wing freak. Like everyone else, I never heard of Mike Johnson until this week. He’s a full-blown coup-thusiast, white supremacist, and evangelical anti-abortion authoritarian.

Who knows how long Johnson will keep the job, but his successor will be even more fascist if the Republicans get to pick it. This all could’ve been avoided if the insurrectionist members of Congress were expelled as the Constitution explicitly calls for. Now we’re stuck with them and if the House majority isn’t flipped by a sizable margin in 2024, they’re going to install themselves permanently.

Having fascist goons as your opponent may help increase voter turnout, but that only works if the fascists honor election results; which they’ve already shown they won’t.

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Georgia Jail Kids

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Despite all the indictments, the ones in Georgia are providing the only mugshots. Trump’s hasn’t been released as I’m posting this, so this artist’s interpretation will have to do. A mugshot isn’t a conviction, and hardly a consequence at all, but we have to take our schadenfreude where we can these days.

Garbage Pail Kids came out when I was five and I was enthralled. I’d get them instead of candy for at least a couple years. The handful that survived are framed and hanging in my living room.

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Republican Creature Features

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I usually save the horror parodies for Halloween, but this summer’s news has been inviting them ahead of schedule. This usually is the time of year studios put out at least a few of their new spooky stuff in theaters so they can double-dip digital rentals in October.

McConnell froze up in the middle of a press conference a couple weeks ago, and I’ve learned not to get my hopes up. I’m going to be adding more gruesome ailments to my depiction of him and the fucker’s gonna outlive me; like some kind of mashup between the picture of Dorian Gray and the dude on the game Operation.

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House Programming Guide

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This Congress is barely a month old and already beyond parody. I suppose I’ll continue mocking them until the last checks on their power are gone and our country completes its final spin down the toilet bowl.

I didn’t watch the State of the Union, since that’s always old news by the end of the week it happens. All the genius pundits say it’s the unofficial start of the 2024 campaign, so say goodbye to any meaningful legislation getting passed through this bunch.

I watched The Menu instead. Highly recommended and not just because of the shoutout to my hometown of Brockton, MA.

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Speaker of the House Alternates

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There might be a Speaker of the House before anyone sees this, but not as of this posting. It is a pleasant change of pace to see “Republicans in disarray” be the media narrative of the week.

However, if the Democrats expelled and banned the Treason Caucus when they had the chamber and popular support following the coup, we wouldn’t be in this situation. At least they are (so far) not listening to idiot centrists’ calls for them to help the Republicans out of their own mess.

Six Republicans could end this by siding with the Dems, but governing isn’t really among any of their priorities. It’s all spectacle and obstruction to win the next election, so I guess we’re all screwed.

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