Republican Primaries’ Cryptid Candidates

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Like I wrote last week, I’m only aware of the 2024 also-rans due to my proximity to New Hampshire. They have some real freaks, but you-know-who’s going to be the nominee. More states should follow Colorado and Maine’s lead and kick him off the ballot, but the Supreme Court is packed with coup-lovin’ shitheads, so I’m not hopeful.

Unlike the Republican freak-of-the-week, I could draw cryptids forever. I only saw a moose once, so I count it as a cryptid. If that’s not satisfying, pretend I drew the aliens that “abducted” Betty and Barney Hill for New Hampshire instead.

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Mark Zuckerberg in Iowa

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Mark Zuckerberg is touring Iowa like an alien visiting another planet, or more likely, a future presidential candidate.

I think billionaires should be taxed out of existence, but at the very least, they should be banned from political life.