artificial intelligence


Stupid Food Revue

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RFK Jr. getting a brain worm from undercooked pork (or the fecal matter of someone else who ate undercooked pork [YUM!]) coincides with people desperate to get raw milk in their guts, even with H5N1 floating around in it. That seemed like a jumping off point for some silly stuff in between my “We’re still descending deeper into fascism, gang!” comics.

Here are my opinions of every gag in this comic.

  • Raw Milk: May Louis Pasteur haunt everyone who drinks this while they’re shitting their brains out.
  • Lead Chips: Lead poisoning, while not totally eliminated, is far below its peak of ruining developing Boomer brains. Unfortunately those leaded brains are still running things, and now they also have dementia.
  • Gray Slop: A.I. is being added to everything because it’s the hot new buzzword. It’s turning the entirety of human knowledge and creativity into a thin gruel we’re all supposed to slurp up for shareholders’ benefit.
  • Sports Betting Bars: I’ve been watching hockey and basketball playoffs a lot, and the gambling content is insane. It’s terrible for those with gambling addiction, and inscrutable to us fans who just want to watch a puck and a ball bounce around.
  • Homemade Meal Kits: Everyone gets a pass during lockdown, but there are still so many of these on the stoops of my neighbors, who are all ostensibly adults. I like convenience! I get groceries and food delivered sometimes when I’m lazy! These kits can’t be saving much time by having someone else chop a few veggies for you plus shipping.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’m getting takeout tomorrow night cause I’m too lazy to do food prep.

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Budget Spring Books

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I returned to the fake books bit because the James Carville idea wouldn’t get out of my head. His face is on fundraising texts and he still pops up on the news, so I kept trying to write a whole comic about that skeleton man. Especially one where he’s offering advice from the early ’90s, while Ross Perot is Mr. Magooing his way in the background doing the real work. That is a 32+ year-old idea that even I shouldn’t remember. (I was 12 during that election.)

And by putting him in one panel, I spared the world multiple panels of extreme gross-ups.

I’m going to be in northern New England for Monday’s eclipse, so hopefully that’ll give me a chance to tear through my own pile of real books … if I don’t burn my retinas off.

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The Tesla Death Trap!

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A Tesla killed Mitch McConnell’s billionaire sister-in-law. It’s a tragedy … that she wasn’t driving with him at the time. The circumstances that caused that accident (and the countless other accidents) revealed a lot of Tesla “features” that ensure I’ll never set foot in one. Shifting gears via touchscreen, doors that require disassembly if the power fails, spontaneous battery combustion, the list goes on.

Everyone now knows Elon Musk is a drug-addled racist, and America’s full of ’em, but this one happens to be a billionaire who gets a ton of subsidies from the government and has access to a lot of its military and space infrastructure. He also controls the former Twitter, which most governmental officials and public figures still use despite it turning into a hub of stochastic terrorism and the worst jokes you’ve ever seen.

Hopefully my view of the eclipse next month isn’t spoiled by his shitty satellites.

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Incredible Global News 2023

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The year’s winding down and everyone’s getting ready for their annual Spreading-of-COVID celebrations. I don’t do year-end round-ups because I don’t want to remember any of that. These are just some recent news items and gags to illustrate before I do some last-minute shopping.

Since New Hampshire mooches off Boston’s media market, I’m already being bombarded with ads for the 2024 Republican primary (I watch sports, if you’re wondering how I get exposed to ads.) so it’s effectively already next year for me. It’s going to suck on the macro level, but I hope your personal new year is a decent one!

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Holiday Recipes

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The holidays snuck up on me, and judging by the Halloween decorations that were up in my neighborhood until this week, the same happened to a lot of people. We finally got our tree up and I’m sure it will be providing living room cheer through most of January.

I can’t say I’ve tested any of these recipes except for Grandma’s Edibles. And now that every formerly vacant storefront in Massachusetts is a dispensary that’s oversaturated the market with affordable edibles, I don’t think I will ever again.

Mike Johnson’s still Speaker and doing evil things quietly enough to avoid much mainstream media scrutiny. The guy’s a coup true believer and Democrats better come up with a better nickname than “MAGA Mike” before it’s too late.

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Winter Book Bargains

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I’m not traveling far for Thanksgiving, but I still have to get a cartoon done early for everyone who is.

It’s been a while since I did a cartoon even referencing COVID, but it is still out there thanks to everyone getting bored with mitigating it. I got my booster and still wear a mask when around sloppy strangers indoors. I recommend it to everyone who enjoys not getting sick.

Have a great long weekend if you’re lucky enough to not have to work retail during it!

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Sucky the A.I. Vacuum

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Artificial Intelligence, machine learning, or whatever you want to call it has practical applications. From sorting the Pentagon’s bloated budget to doing whatever it is middle managers do, it has its place. Creating original art is never going to be one. The whole enterprise involves lifting from the work of others and mushing them all together. And until there’s a chip that creates sentient inspiration, the results will always be derivative.

This won’t stop executives from using it to cut costs. The WGA knew this, and that’s why they held firm and guaranteed that AI works won’t ice out the writers. Most of pop culture is already a boring mix of stuff that already exists, and A.I. would only make it worse, much more quickly.

Anthropomorphizing terrible tech is now a recurring bit that started with this A.I comic and Cruisey the self-aware car. Let’s see if I’m the John Henry of ripping myself off and can beat the machines to running it into the ground.

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Scab Scripts

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The Writers’ Guild of America declared a strike early Tuesday after the executive side of the entertainment business refused to negotiate their modest demands. A lot has changed since the last writers’ strike in 2007, especially how media is consumed and compensated.

Netflix’s red envelopes were the big new thing back then, and now they’re a relic young people think coexisted with BETAMAX. Yet pay, residuals, and benefits are still stuck in that ancient time before we had to manage a dozen or so streaming logins.

All of these studios are making profits, just not enough to satisfy Wall Street’s maw. So they’re screwing writers and nickel-and-diming their subscribers by canceling shows and memory-holing their back catalogs to save a few cents on residuals, all to squeeze out more dividends and stock buybacks.

Joe “Union Guy” Biden broke a rail strike so the economy wouldn’t take a hit. If this writers’ strike goes on long enough to harm the studios’ bottom lines, I’m sure he’ll find a way to intervene.

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