Donald Trump

Incredible Global News 2025

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Some goofs and gags to close out the year (or until next week when I draw something else).

The last panel is inspired by the alt-text I wrote for this Bluesky post. Larry’s failson is destroying CBS and Paramount by installing people even dumber than him, I assume. After this was already inked, Bari Weiss killed a 60 Minutes piece about our CECOT concentration camp in El Salvador. I’m sure she’ll fail up even further and get appointed to Captain on Strange New Worlds.

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Leaked MRIs

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They’re trucking Trump up to the National Zoo every other week to put him in the large animal MRI, and the official line is that he’s in perfect health with a good brain. Whatever it really is, it needs to hurry up and be extremely painful. Hopefully it happens over the holiday break so we can all celebrate as a nation.

I’ve referenced the movie Innerspace before and like everything Joe Dante made in the ’80s it was extremely influential to me. Gremlins 3 might finally be happening, but Chris Columbus is attached to direct, which seems specifically designed to infuriate nerds like me. I know everyone’s watching Home Alone this time of year, but that guy’s not good!

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Recession Recipes

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How is it a week before Thanksgiving already? The holidays are always a mess of early deadlines to accommodate publications that have staff who get time off, unlike myself. This happens predictably every year, so naturally I’m scrambling at the last minute once again to get things out before everyone hunkers down while we wait to see what horrors 2025 still has in store for us before it’s 2026’s turn to kick our ass.

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White House Renovations

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After a fun and inspiring weekend of No Kings protests (which I’ll be posting about later as this month’s Patreon exclusive), it was back to the Trump’s Demented Fascism Show. In the midst of the shutdown, drone-striking innocent people in international waters, and ICE continuing to terrorize cities, this administration demolished the East Wing of the White House to build their Bribery Ballroom, brought to you by corporate sponsors and the failure to enforce the Emoluments Clause the first time around.

Destroying an historic building is obviously minor compared to the daily horrors Trump’s inflicting on actual living human beings, but the symbolism to what he’s doing to the country is so blatant even the media is starting to notice the big ol’ binch ain’t right in the head. Maybe the Democratic leadership will be next to notice.

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Linda McMahon’s Cuckoo Curriculum

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he Back-to-School stuff is already off the shelves and replaced with Halloween stuff. Or maybe that’s just the effect of the tariffs. I thought the Supreme Court already rubber-stamped the elimination of the Department of Education, but I looked it up and Linda McMahon’s still around.

Higher education getting decimated has gotten most of the attention, but K-12’s getting wrecked, too. The public school versions, anyway. Rich kids will still have access to fine, private educations, where they’ll get straight Cs until they get a job at their parents’ firms.

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Presidential Physical Fitness Test

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In 2013, the Presidential Physical Fitness Test we all grew up with was replaced with more general lifestyle guidelines because that test was dumb. Situps, pullups, and running shuttles back and forth were nothing compared to the workout we got whipping dodgeballs at each other. Now Mr. “Exercise Depletes Your Body’s Finite Supply of Energy” brought it back because he’s demented and surrounded by idiot fascists who think pullups and seed oils will bring about a new generation of übermenschen.

The ironic thing about this push to get kids to exercise more is that I’ve already been doing more than I ever have in my life just to avoid seeing this guy’s fucking face on my computer and phone. It’s probably a good thing too, since who knows how much longer we’ll have any health care to rely on.

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Epstein Excuses

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A scandal is finally sticking to Trump because his dementia has caused him to forget about the Streisand Effect. He previously plowed past every outrage and continued being the worst person on Earth to his adoring fans. For whatever reason, the Epstein accusations are really causing our swollen big boy distress and only an idiot would stop pressing him on the issue.

And if Bill Clinton gets dragged down with him, I say: GOOD.

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