Larry Ellison

Ellison Television

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(panel 1 - Title on a TV Guide parody with Larry and David Ellison.) Ellison Television
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With an assist from California governor Gavin Newsom, Paramount/Skydance’s acquisition of Warner Bros. seems to be going through. So binge watch your HBO watchlists before all the shows get replaced with propaganda or Taylor Sheridan shows.

Larry Ellison funded these mergers based on the flimsy value of his tech portfolio, which is propped up by the A.I. bubble that’s going to burst any minute now. I’m not an accelerationist, but if the media collapses as a result, maybe there will be an opening for the return of independent alt-weeklies, and a desire to fill them with topical comics written by middle-aged dudes who picked the wrong career.

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Bari Minutes’ New Hosts

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It’s been a few months since Bari shitcanned 60 Minutes’ CECOT story, and now she’s fired Scott Pelley. I guess he’s popular with your grandparents, I dunno. This is a PBS Frontline house and I have no idea what’s going on over at CBS News.

The hosts who stay and help Bari and the Ellisons’ use 60 Minutes to launder their hamfisted propaganda don’t even need the money. Most of these people have been hosting this show since I was a toddler.

I watched the finale of Stephen Colbert’s Late Show, and now I’m back to my CBS boycott, which is not a difficult sacrifice at all.

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Leaked MRIs

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They’re trucking Trump up to the National Zoo every other week to put him in the large animal MRI, and the official line is that he’s in perfect health with a good brain. Whatever it really is, it needs to hurry up and be extremely painful. Hopefully it happens over the holiday break so we can all celebrate as a nation.

I’ve referenced the movie Innerspace before and like everything Joe Dante made in the ’80s it was extremely influential to me. Gremlins 3 might finally be happening, but Chris Columbus is attached to direct, which seems specifically designed to infuriate nerds like me. I know everyone’s watching Home Alone this time of year, but that guy’s not good!

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