gambling

Whack Apps

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I was trying to escape the news by enjoying the NHL’s 4 Nations Tournament, but since the USA is now a belligerent pariah state, that wasn’t possible. I’m glad Canada won. I hope we don’t have to change the name of poutine to “Freedom Slop” or that our northern neighbors get nuked.

Even my attempt to write some goofy jokes about apps couldn’t avoid the reality of our country’s rapid descent into authoritarianism. I was certainly not alone in being a Cassandra about the dangers of not prosecuting and removing everyone involved with January 6th from political life, but everyone with influence wanted to move on and pretend 2017-2021 never happened.

We’d be in a much better place if people listened to us instead of Chris Coons, who declined to call witnesses at the impeachment trial four years ago so he and the Democrats could fuck off for Valentines Day.

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Stupid Food Revue

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RFK Jr. getting a brain worm from undercooked pork (or the fecal matter of someone else who ate undercooked pork [YUM!]) coincides with people desperate to get raw milk in their guts, even with H5N1 floating around in it. That seemed like a jumping off point for some silly stuff in between my “We’re still descending deeper into fascism, gang!” comics.

Here are my opinions of every gag in this comic.

  • Raw Milk: May Louis Pasteur haunt everyone who drinks this while they’re shitting their brains out.
  • Lead Chips: Lead poisoning, while not totally eliminated, is far below its peak of ruining developing Boomer brains. Unfortunately those leaded brains are still running things, and now they also have dementia.
  • Gray Slop: A.I. is being added to everything because it’s the hot new buzzword. It’s turning the entirety of human knowledge and creativity into a thin gruel we’re all supposed to slurp up for shareholders’ benefit.
  • Sports Betting Bars: I’ve been watching hockey and basketball playoffs a lot, and the gambling content is insane. It’s terrible for those with gambling addiction, and inscrutable to us fans who just want to watch a puck and a ball bounce around.
  • Homemade Meal Kits: Everyone gets a pass during lockdown, but there are still so many of these on the stoops of my neighbors, who are all ostensibly adults. I like convenience! I get groceries and food delivered sometimes when I’m lazy! These kits can’t be saving much time by having someone else chop a few veggies for you plus shipping.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’m getting takeout tomorrow night cause I’m too lazy to do food prep.

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