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Alan Dershowitz was so eager to paw those pierogis, he opened his own Martha’s Vineyard farmer’s market booth. This month’s comic for $5 patrons.
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he Back-to-School stuff is already off the shelves and replaced with Halloween stuff. Or maybe that’s just the effect of the tariffs. I thought the Supreme Court already rubber-stamped the elimination of the Department of Education, but I looked it up and Linda McMahon’s still around.
Higher education getting decimated has gotten most of the attention, but K-12’s getting wrecked, too. The public school versions, anyway. Rich kids will still have access to fine, private educations, where they’ll get straight Cs until they get a job at their parents’ firms.
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In 2013, the Presidential Physical Fitness Test we all grew up with was replaced with more general lifestyle guidelines because that test was dumb. Situps, pullups, and running shuttles back and forth were nothing compared to the workout we got whipping dodgeballs at each other. Now Mr. “Exercise Depletes Your Body’s Finite Supply of Energy” brought it back because he’s demented and surrounded by idiot fascists who think pullups and seed oils will bring about a new generation of übermenschen.
The ironic thing about this push to get kids to exercise more is that I’ve already been doing more than I ever have in my life just to avoid seeing this guy’s fucking face on my computer and phone. It’s probably a good thing too, since who knows how much longer we’ll have any health care to rely on.
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A scandal is finally sticking to Trump because his dementia has caused him to forget about the Streisand Effect. He previously plowed past every outrage and continued being the worst person on Earth to his adoring fans. For whatever reason, the Epstein accusations are really causing our swollen big boy distress and only an idiot would stop pressing him on the issue.
And if Bill Clinton gets dragged down with him, I say: GOOD.
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