RFK Jr.


Project 2026

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What a year this week has been, huh? I was mostly done with this cartoon when ICE agent Jonathan Ross murdered Renee Good in Minneapolis, so I shoehorned an oblique reference to it in Rubio’s comments. The only surprising thing is that it took this long for these untrained goons to kill someone the media couldn’t ignore.

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Recession Recipes

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How is it a week before Thanksgiving already? The holidays are always a mess of early deadlines to accommodate publications that have staff who get time off, unlike myself. This happens predictably every year, so naturally I’m scrambling at the last minute once again to get things out before everyone hunkers down while we wait to see what horrors 2025 still has in store for us before it’s 2026’s turn to kick our ass.

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RFK Jr.’s Initiatives

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To be the worst Kennedy with the highest body count is quite the accomplishment, and RFK Jr. is going claim the title by orders of magnitude. DOGE’s elimination of USAID will kill millions and Bobby Brainworm’s rejection of the past century of medical advances will kill even millions more.

A natural disaster could only dream of creating a death toll that high … maybe an asteroid impact could, and I’m sure Space Force is already hard at work aiming one at the planet.

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Linda McMahon’s Cuckoo Curriculum

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he Back-to-School stuff is already off the shelves and replaced with Halloween stuff. Or maybe that’s just the effect of the tariffs. I thought the Supreme Court already rubber-stamped the elimination of the Department of Education, but I looked it up and Linda McMahon’s still around.

Higher education getting decimated has gotten most of the attention, but K-12’s getting wrecked, too. The public school versions, anyway. Rich kids will still have access to fine, private educations, where they’ll get straight Cs until they get a job at their parents’ firms.

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FEMA’s You’re On Your Own Disaster Guidelines

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It’s hurricane season, a heat wave is about to smother the northeast and FEMA and the NWS are just two of the many casualties of this administration. When a real disaster strikes, these bozos would have spent all their resources rounding up line cooks to give Stephen Miller a semi.

Unlike billionaires in their bunkers, the real guideline is to participate in mutual aid whenever you can. No one’s lookin’ out for us but each other.

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White House Approved Programming

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Paramount needs federal approval for a merger, so they’re bending over backwards to appease the administration (it won’t work, they’ll just demand more obedience) by neutering CBS’s autonomy in its news coverage. Other corporate media giants have done the same to pre-emptively appease an administration that barely squeaked out a win and is already underwater in every conceivable poll.

That might work for some industries, but the media requires appealing to audiences bigger than one demented individual in the White House.

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Events at the Trump Center for the Performing Arts

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Trump firing the board of the Kennedy Center for Performing Arts is hardly the most disastrous thing this administration has done in its first month, but it has the potential to be one of the tackiest. Trump is a bitchy NYC musical theater fan who was never welcomed in that world, so he’s remaking the Kennedy Center into Branson on the Potomac.

The measles outbreak in Texas and New Mexico is the latest in what will be years of lessons that the federal government actually did stuff before an apartheid guy was allowed to dismantle it for the LOLZ. The wrecking of our meager medical infrastructure and safety net are going to have even worse outcomes the longer this goes on, and if 2020’s covid response is any indication, people are going to get even crazier.

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Kennedy/Brain Worm

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It was reported this week that in a deposition, RFK Jr. claimed a brain parasite (and mercury poisoning) limited his ability to pay alimony. This is the kind of sound medical reasoning you’d expect from one of the most prominent anti-vaxxers who has encouraged the current resurgence of formerly preventable diseases, and stopped COVID vaccine uptake right when it needed to be ramped up.

As a third party candidate, RFK Jr.’s filling in the weirdo/crank void left by the late Lyndon LaRouche. If Kennedy can somehow siphon enough votes in the few counties that matter electorally to flip the result, that’s more of an indictment on the Democrats’ failure to run up huge margins in what should be the THIRD layup election against Trump. Especially when the alleged “spoiler” candidate is a literal quack with brain worms.

I wish there were viable third, fourth, etc. parties in this country. That could result in more parliamentary-style coalition building in Congress. They’d have to start running for offices lower on the ticket than president though, and none of these vanity presidential campaigns seem interested in doing anything like real political work.

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