Iran

Presidential Hiding Locations

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(panel 1 - Title on a Secret Service dossier.) Presidential Hiding Locations
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After dubious intelligence from the Israelis about an Iranian assassination plot, the Secret Service whisked Trump off of Air Force One in a catering cart and flew his fat ass to the UK on a military plane. Members of his cabinet and the press remained on the decoy plane which is a very funny way to find out you’re not in his inner circle after a decade spent debasing yourself to get in his (quite smelly) orbit.

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Munitions Shortage Solutions

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(panel 1 - Title around the Department of Losing seal.) Munitions Shortage Solutions
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If there’s one thing that’s consistent about this administration (besides all the racism) it’s their inability to understand supply chains and logistics. Thankfully that’s led them to being unable to do as much damage as they’d like.

They’ve already blown through the stockpile of missiles, which will take years to build back up. Everyone knows this, including Iran, which is why this dumb war continues to drag on in a state of on-again, off-again skirmishes.

I’m sure Raytheon’s board and stockholders are surprised to learn that this administration somehow found a way to make war unprofitable.

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Exit Strategies

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After starting a war without a plan, the United States may be about to end it without one, while leaving Iran with more leverage that it had before it began now that it’s collecting tolls from ships passing through the Strait of Hormuz. The administration’s attempts to spin this as a victory aren’t landing with the MAGA crowd, who usually will eat whatever Trump serves them, but apparently even they have a limit and it’s $4+ gas.

Thousands of innocents killed, billions wasted, and turning the United States into a pariah state all because a sundowning pedophile got bored and thought some explosions would liven up his TV time. Now he’s bored again, and we all have to sit helplessly and wait for him to pick his next target. Unless you’re in Congress. There’s a lot of things you could be doing to put an end to this, but none of them read my comics.

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Bored of Peace Games

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Our dumb war with Iran is still going on for reasons that become even more unclear as the weeks drag on. Even the selfish dummies who voted this guy in are starting to turn on him because their SUV juice is getting expensive. Unfortunately for us, and the rest of the world, Congress is dumber than that and agreed to fund this disaster to avoid being accused of not “supporting the troops.”

There wasn’t an entrance strategy, so there’s no hope for an exit strategy. One fuck-up after another until even our allies have to rethink their grand plan to do nothing and wait for the guy to die. Which, to be fair, is also the Democrats’ plan.

Not much funny to say about any of this, so I drew some poops and made fun of Marco Rubio’s big-ass shoes. We all cope with the horrors of war in our own ways.

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Stickers Shock

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Trump’s adventure in Iran is predictably leading to soaring oil and gas prices, something that was very important for the media right up until Election Day in 2024. “I Did That!” stickers blaming Biden for inflation were all the rage, so I figured I’d take a shot at elevating the genre for this regime.

I might actually make these if there’s enough interest to cover production costs up front. But until then, I can tweak a few of the designs for My Threadless Shop, which needs some more designs to take advantage of the $13 t-shirt sale that’s currently going on. Let me know if there’s any you’d like to see!

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Dumb War Weapons

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We launched another preemptive war of aggression that’s going to kill a lot of people and ruin even more lives for decades to come. At least Congress, including 157 House Democrats, retroactively signed off on it, ensuring this boondoggle is adequately funded while the rest of our lives aren’t.

With Iraq, there was a pretense of manufacturing consent, and public opinion supported it until the fact that it was a stupid war of choice became too obvious to ignore. Besides Congress and the media, nobody wants this war with Iran, and since planning is for nerds, the consequences are already extremely unpopular.

We all just have to sit and watch, and hope the blowback doesn’t happen to us personally, since the ostensible opposition party’s plan is to wait for us to bail them out in the midterms. So much damage is going to happen between now and then. And it all might’ve been prevented if Biden and Merrick Garland released any of the freaky Epstein details that have been trickling out over the past year when they could’ve influenced an election.

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Honest Pro-War Slogans

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I’m in the midst of unpacking, setting up my office, and cleaning up the old apartment, so I was caught off guard to learn we were bombing Iran as soon as I got the wifi working. I knew it was a possibility, but was thinking one of those “Don’t sell a war until after Labor Day” deals that the Dubya administration made famous. Guess I was suffering from heat stroke to forget that this administration is even dumber than them.

All the usual idiots are in favor of this, even though polls already show how unpopular it is. But we live in an authoritarian pariah state, so public opinion is more of sanity check for those of us without access to any of the levers of power than anything actionable.

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