TV


Schmaltzmark Channel Holiday Specials   Recently updated !

Read the comic on Patreon.

The late Thanksgiving has made this holiday season shorter than usual (if you’re not a freak who puts the tree up the day after Halloween), so here are some holiday goofs before I have to really start thinking about next year.

I’ve never watched one of the Hallmark Channel’s Christmas schlockfests, but Netflix put out something called Hot Frosty where a sexy snow sculpture comes to life (?) and I figure I should practice writing that kind of stuff for when editorial cartoonists make it to the next FBI director’s most wanted list.

Now to enjoy one sip of the eggnog I bought then immediately remember why it’s not a regular staple in our fridge.

Read the comic on Patreon.
Read the comic on Daily Kos.
Read the comic on GoComics.


CEO’s Scab Shows

Read the comic on Patreon.

I was originally going to mock Drew Barrymore and Bill Maher for scabbing when they announced they were putting their shows back into production while the WGA/SAG-AFTRA strikes are still going on. Unlike CEOs, some celebrities are capable of shame, and both changed their minds after a week of ridicule. I still had to put a Maher jab in here ’cause he sucks.

If the strike continues much longer, the studios’ pipeline of new stuff will dry up. They may think they can wait the unions out, but audiences are less patient and won’t keep their subscriptions autorenewing if the only new stuff they’re getting are reality TV and game shows.

If these CEOs can’t get their shit together, they deserve to be bought out by UPS, a company that realized averting strike for a few million in benefits is better business than losing billions to stick it to the unions.

Read the comic on Patreon.
Read the comic on Daily Kos.
Read the comic on GoComics.


Aliens Address Congress!

Read the comic on Patreon.

House Republicans took a little break from obsessing over Hunter Biden to have a hearing about UFOs, or UAP (Unidentified Aerial Phenomena) as the cool kids are saying these days. While I enjoy reading about cryptid and UFO lore, anything that hasn’t been clearly caught on a smartphone or dashcam by now is probably a coyote with mange or a some classified Pentagon toy.

Mathematically, alien life is sure to exist. Intelligent life, in proximity to us in both time and space, however, is less likely. And life smart enough to travel faster than light has no reason to visit this shithole.

I used TOS Spock even though I enjoy Ethan Peck’s version in Strange New Worlds, and the series in general. The show feels like a novelty if only because they haven’t used CGI/AI to reanimate Nimoy’s corpse … yet.

Read the comic on Patreon.
Read the comic on The Nib.
Read the comic on Daily Kos.
Read the comic on GoComics.


Fall TV Premieres

Read the comic on Patreon.

There’s a strike going on at a Boston Starbucks that’s the longest in that franchise’s recent wave of workers demanding to paid fairly for slinging glorified milkshakes.

Every other panel is about another news thing. I had to hedge a bit with the supply chain, since there’s a tentative agreement with railroad workers, but I’ve been experiencing random things being out of stock ever since we decided to let COVID rip through workplaces.

As for actual TV shows, summer seems to be when they put out a lot of the good ones, and FX/Hulu are putting out bangers. Reservation Dogs, This Fool, The Bear, What We Do in the Shadows, are all worth checking out if the fall garbage isn’t for you.

Read the comic on Patreon.
Read the comic on The Nib.
Read the comic on Daily Kos.
Read the comic on GoComics.


What’s New on Streaming

Read the comic on Patreon.

The omicron wave and a colder than usual March caught me up on a lot of TV. Marvel and Star Wars superfans will probably get mad at me even though I ate up all that garbage. I also read books. Mostly the Dune sequels though. Shut up.

Read the comic on Patreon.
Read the comic on The Nib.
Read the comic on Daily Kos.
Read the comic on GoComics.


Fall TV Preview

Read the comic on Patreon.

These T.V. shows I made up are still more informative than anything on cable news. I don’t watch any of it, yet somehow I’m aware that things are bad and getting worse.

Unlike what seems like everybody else, I’m still quarantining and soon it will be too cold to do that outside on long walks or the porch. So I’ll eventually look at cable news out of sheer boredom and immediately regret doing that.

If you don’t know what the numbers are above the show titles, ask your grandparents to show you a copy of their TV Guides.

Read the comic on Patreon.
Read the comic on GoComics.
Read the comic on Daily Kos.


The Undecided Zone

The Undecided ZoneYou are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of undecided minds. Nobody reading this is an undecided voter. They are a mystery to me, and the outcome of the election depends on the handful of them in the states that are up for grabs.

Yes, I know it’s a cookbook.

Read the comic at The New York Times.