immigration

Schmaltzmark Channel Holiday Specials

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The late Thanksgiving has made this holiday season shorter than usual (if you’re not a freak who puts the tree up the day after Halloween), so here are some holiday goofs before I have to really start thinking about next year.

I’ve never watched one of the Hallmark Channel’s Christmas schlockfests, but Netflix put out something called Hot Frosty where a sexy snow sculpture comes to life (?) and I figure I should practice writing that kind of stuff for when editorial cartoonists make it to the next FBI director’s most wanted list.

Now to enjoy one sip of the eggnog I bought then immediately remember why it’s not a regular staple in our fridge.

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Recipes for Revenge

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Here’s my counter to the annual “How to talk to your MAGA relatives at Thanksgiving” articles, which never seem to be written the other way. Sure, it’s petty, but since they’re immune to reason, maybe a little food poisoning will do the trick.

I’m fortunate to not have to spend the holiday with these awful people. If you have to, I hope the food, booze, and/or drugs makes next week somewhat tolerable.

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2025 Lawn Signs

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Well this sucks. I’m sure I’ll find funny things to make cartoons about, while also amplifying ways to help people who are going to be most affected by the implementation of Project 2025, but for now I’m just swinging between rage and grief. Listening to comedy podcasts while drawing this was the first break my brain’s had since Tuesday night.

Pardon my sincerity. Shit is fucked up, and everyone who cares needs to chip in to unfuck it. We can’t let morons raging blindly about the price of eggs have the last word.

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Congress’s Climate Quack

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(panel 1 - Title like a local news weather segment.) Marjorie Taylor Greene Congress's Climate Quack
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Marjorie Taylor Greene is saying more stupid, hateful shit, and it’s arguably not even the worst of the lies going around about the recent hurricanes and relief efforts. It’s especially demented to scapegoat innocent people when there are real humans to blame in the fossil fuel industry who’ve been denying what their own scientists have been saying about climate change for over forty years.

The climate crisis is here and now that denial won’t work, the conspiracy theories are going to do even more of the heavy lifting to stop what’s necessary to mitigate any of it; not to mention what they’ll do to otherize people forced to flee the next disaster or the countless ones that will follow.

Progress is being made though! The poorly named Inflation Reduction Act has done a lot to boost the already booming renewable energy industry. We just have to find a way to stop all those gains from going to A.I. so it can give dweebs a picture of Smurfette with big boobs.

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COP28 Agenda Items

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The 28th UN climate conference started today and they’re finally gonna start taking climate change seriously. Or not. I did a cartoon about the 26th conference, and the 27th passed me by without even noticing. So my hopes aren’t high for this one.

Last week while willingly subjecting myself to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, I was unwillingly subjected to this ad showing how oil makes hospitals possible. It’s been out for a while, but it was the first time for me. Hopefully they’ll brainstorm a less craven message for their Super Bowl ad.

But don’t worry. Tomorrow I’m going to ride a bike to pick up groceries. That should offset our leaders’ climate inaction.

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D.I.Y. Halloween Costumes

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(Title on a Spirit Halloween generic costume bag.) D.I.Y. Halloween Costumes
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I’m firmly against topical Halloween costumes in real life, but it’s a decent premise for a cartoon where you don’t have to spend an entire evening stuck inside your one-note joke that only news nerds might get.

While the final panel is about Biden deciding to build more border walls, it applies to everywhere refugees are being denied their right to seek asylum. A wall refusing desperate people entry is the opposite side of one locking them into a miserable fate.

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White House Sophistry Briefing

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With Title 42 coming to end (only because they’re ending the pandemic emergency declaration in May), the Biden administration has begun floating the idea of bringing family detainment back. That’s the same thing that caused all the good liberals with signs on their lawns to protest “kids in cages” when Trump did it.

The White House has also recently stymied any hope of D.C. self rule, refused to condemn Israel’s super-apartheid government fomenting violence in the West Bank, and generally doing everything it can to wipe out their 2020 campaign platform.

Now I get to sit back and wait for angry emails telling me how rude I am for criticizing this administration when Republicans are much, much worse.

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Economics Kinks

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More fiduciary fun this week. Funds for COVID mitigation measures are being held up in the Senate by Republicans and the usual Democratic suspects to keep Title 42. It was written by Stephen Miller using COVID as a pretext to unilaterally deport anyone seeking asylum from a country where COVID’s run rampant with nary a mitigation measure, like the United States right now, for one example.

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