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Influencers to Avoid

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I’m old and don’t regularly use the same social media that the kids do. I only glean bits and pieces that bleed over to the older, nerdier enclaves of Bluesky and Mastodon, or when YouTube’s terrible algorithm tries to push garbage on me while I’m watching old clips of Max Headroom.

The Non-Fungible-Tumbler refers to the current Stanley Cup fad, which I only heard about recently from a million hacky hockey jokes. Apparently grown-ass adults are collecting these things as status symbols like they’re Starter jackets in the ’90s. At least they exist, unlike NFTs.

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CEO’s Scab Shows

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I was originally going to mock Drew Barrymore and Bill Maher for scabbing when they announced they were putting their shows back into production while the WGA/SAG-AFTRA strikes are still going on. Unlike CEOs, some celebrities are capable of shame, and both changed their minds after a week of ridicule. I still had to put a Maher jab in here ’cause he sucks.

If the strike continues much longer, the studios’ pipeline of new stuff will dry up. They may think they can wait the unions out, but audiences are less patient and won’t keep their subscriptions autorenewing if the only new stuff they’re getting are reality TV and game shows.

If these CEOs can’t get their shit together, they deserve to be bought out by UPS, a company that realized averting strike for a few million in benefits is better business than losing billions to stick it to the unions.

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Child Scabs Wanted!

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Strike fever is sweeping the nation the same time as child labor laws are being rescinded in Republican states. The actors’ union joined the writers in rejecting the studios’ bullshit deals, making the directors’ guild look like chumps for accepting one.

There’s still a week for UPS and the Teamsters to negotiate a fair deal and avoid a strike. But corporations haven’t been making smart long-term decisions, instead choosing to destroy their assets to goose short-term quarterly profits, so I’m not holding my breath.

My Dad’s a retired UPS driver, and the 1997 strike happened just as I was heading off to college. I’m sure that was a fun financial roller coaster for my parents, but the strike ended up securing his pension so he doesn’t have to greet shoppers at Walmart today.

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2022 Winter Gift Guide

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Forgot to post this here over the holiday. Apologies!

Short week for Thanksgiving, even though I’m not traveling. COVID, flu, RSV, and even our dear old pal the common cold will be. Stay healthy out there.

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Fall TV Premieres

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There’s a strike going on at a Boston Starbucks that’s the longest in that franchise’s recent wave of workers demanding to paid fairly for slinging glorified milkshakes.

Every other panel is about another news thing. I had to hedge a bit with the supply chain, since there’s a tentative agreement with railroad workers, but I’ve been experiencing random things being out of stock ever since we decided to let COVID rip through workplaces.

As for actual TV shows, summer seems to be when they put out a lot of the good ones, and FX/Hulu are putting out bangers. Reservation Dogs, This Fool, The Bear, What We Do in the Shadows, are all worth checking out if the fall garbage isn’t for you.

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David Brooks’ Working Class Safari

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The entire media industry is collapsing, for lowly cartoonists like me all the way up to the makers of prestige HBO shows. But if you’re a columnist who’s made being weird and wrong your thing, you can keep pumping out a couple hundred words of nothing and keep cashing those checks in perpetuity.

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Jeff Bezos’ Monopoly Spree

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Not only should Amazon be broken up, Jeff Bezos’ fortune AND his acutal physical form should be as well. This monster amassed even greater fortunes during the pandemic, while subjecting his employees to grinding in miserable conditions.

Eventually he and Elon Musk will monopolize enough of the world, that they’ll be the only two businessmen I have to know how to draw.

(panel 1 – Title above Jeff Bezos pushing a shopping cart containing Earth.)
Jeff Bezos’ Monopoly Spree
(panel 2 – Jeff Bezos with the MGM logo, with the lion replaced with Scabby the Rat.)
Bezos, “After acquiring MGM, I’m replacing their iconic lion with a union-busting scab.”
(panel 3 – Jeff Bezos dressed as James Bond, showing of a license to kill.)
Bezos, “Then casting myself as the next 007, with a license to kill small businesses.”
(panel 4 – Jeff Bezos with the Toxic Avenger.)
Bezos, “I’m also buying Troma Entertainment, and rebranding the Toxic Avenger as a champion of employee abuse.”
(panel 5 – Jeff Bezos at a storage unit with VHS tapes, film reels, and other old media.)
Bezos, “I even bought your home movie library, so you now have to subscribe to Prime to watch your precious memories!”
(panel 6 – Jeff Bezos blowing dust of the Sherman Antitrust Act of 1890.)
Bezos, “My latest purchase is the United States’ antitrust laws. They weren’t using them anyway.”

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