Silicon Valley

Silicon Schlock Market   Recently updated !

This entry was posted in comics and tagged artificial intelligence cryptocurrency Elon Musk eugenics Kara Swisher NFT Silicon Valley technology on by
(panel 1 - Meta's Glasses styled to look like an X-Ray Specs ad.) Silicon Schlock Market
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At some point in the last quarter century, “tech” in the United States became the field of business school dullards instead of people who actually make things people want or need. Real innovations in green energy, medicine, and pure science are still happening every day, but because the finance bros can’t immediately monetize them, we’re stuck with rent-seeking apps and flat-out scams.

Nobody wants this stuff, but they keep selling it. Singling out Kara Swisher might not be warranted, but she got rich slinging this shit. Hyping up Elon Musk is a huge reason why she’s where she is, and he is without exaggeration, a mass murderer.

Members of Exclusive Early Access might remember I first came up with this idea in Orphan Doodles. I switched the Meta Glasses bit up a bit from that initial sketch, but that’s why the sketch was an orphan. I might modify that panel into a t-shirt when I get the time. Let me know if you’d wear Pervert Glasses on your chest, not your face!

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Enshittified StartUps

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This month’s comic for patrons who signed up for Exclusive Early Access predicts the next big things in shitty technology. I’m running a 20% discount for this tier for the next two weeks. Check it out and get access to all the previous exclusives as well.

For just $1 a month, Early Access subscribers see my cartoons as soon as I finish them.

As media outlets close up shop and become one big monopolistic toy for a handful of billionaires, reader support is essential to keeping these comics coming. Even becoming a free member over on Patreon helps, and comes with access to all sorts of stuff I post that I don’t feel like monetizing.

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Choose Your Chatbot

This entry was posted in comics and tagged artificial intelligence Silicon Valley technology venture capital on by
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Companies are pushing A.I. hard, and no one wants it. We know it’s done for because Zuckerberg is convinced it’s be the next big thing. He’ll toss onto the garbage pile with the Metaverse while raking in billions from his websites for the elderly.

Like NFTs and crypto before, Silicon Valley is scrambling for the next big thing without having to do the messy business of creating or innovating anything. Getting users addicted then charging them rent or showing them ads are all they’ve “innovated” since the smartphone came along.

Renewable energy technology is where the innovation is now, and we’d be on the precipice of a green energy revolution if venture capitalists didn’t melt their brains huffing the farts of online forums’ sweatiest racists and bigots.

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Sam Altman’s A.I. Bubble Burstin’ Blowout!

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The A.I. bubble’s burstin’, after every tech company spent the past year forcing it into their previously useable products. There’s no consumer demand for this crap, but it’s all they have, and their stockholders demand growth. It’ll join the Metaverse and crypto in the trash heap along with all the processors that were wasted rendering boobs on anime cartoons.

In the world of useful innovations, green energy has been on a feverish pace this year, but it’s boring and requires actual technical know-how, so the tech bros will have to invent a knew scam for their next round of pump-and-dumps.

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New Tech Trends

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Apple started selling their dumb goggles this week, so we’re being subjected to another round of hype trying to sell this garbage. Every “big idea” Silicon Valley’s tried to sell over the last decade or two has either been outright fraud (self-driving cars, Theranos, crypto, etc.) or just re-inventing something that already exists, but with middle-men to extract money from users and the people doing the real work (gig economy, rideshare, streaming, etc.).

I swear I’ll get off my “Capitalism Bad” kick next week.

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Wearable Tech Expo

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Things are still bad, and tech companies are still trying to make VR a thing, including Apple now. No matter how hard Silicon Valley tries, VR will always be a niche thing for nerds, just like comics that make fun of them. Even wearable tech has an upper limit of people willing to pair and charge all that shit, THEN strap it on. People wear pajamas to the grocery store for a reason.

Volunteers for Elon Musk’s brain chip are a whole other thing. And that thing’s a cult.

Actual bad things continued to happen in the world, but I needed a break. I’m starting to suspect following and commenting on everything terrible about our current dystopia might be making me less fun at parties.

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Tainted Halloween Treats

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The annual “Marijuana Candy” panic has already started on our garbage local news. Having waited in line forever at the Brookline recreational place, I’m not inclined to give that stuff to friends, let alone random kids.

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