space

Stranded Starliner Instructions

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Boeing botched the first crewed flight of the Starliner to the International Space Station, but at least they didn’t blow up Sunita Williams and Butch Wilmore in the process. The two have been stuck on the ISS months after what was supposed to be a brief stay as part of the test flight.

The empty Starliner will come splashing (or crashing) down to Earth soon without them on board because of a bunch of problems that should’ve been sorted out long before launch.

NASA’s decades-long habit of contracting out operations to sketchy lowest-bidder companies have made them reliant on white supremacist Elon Musk’s SpaceX or Russia’s Soyuz program. Boeing becoming their only other option wasn’t great even before their planes started disintegrating mid-flight.

There should be a NASA owned and operated crewed space vehicle, but that money went to the military’s not-so-secret space drone, the X-37.

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Summer Beach Reads

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It was a long weekend after a month’s worth of news happened on Monday and Tuesday. I went to the beach to look at some cool shells and eat seafood, but I shall return, barely refreshed to draw comics about whatever new horrors await us on the other side of the holiday weekend.

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The Tesla Death Trap!

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A Tesla killed Mitch McConnell’s billionaire sister-in-law. It’s a tragedy … that she wasn’t driving with him at the time. The circumstances that caused that accident (and the countless other accidents) revealed a lot of Tesla “features” that ensure I’ll never set foot in one. Shifting gears via touchscreen, doors that require disassembly if the power fails, spontaneous battery combustion, the list goes on.

Everyone now knows Elon Musk is a drug-addled racist, and America’s full of ’em, but this one happens to be a billionaire who gets a ton of subsidies from the government and has access to a lot of its military and space infrastructure. He also controls the former Twitter, which most governmental officials and public figures still use despite it turning into a hub of stochastic terrorism and the worst jokes you’ve ever seen.

Hopefully my view of the eclipse next month isn’t spoiled by his shitty satellites.

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IDENTIFIED Aerial Phenomena

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Balloon panic is in its second week, and we’re probably a week away from a drone strike on a science fair. I can see my apartment on Google Street View, so a spy balloon would have to float through my window to invade my privacy any further.

Neither party wants focus on the train derailment in East Palestine, Ohio. Republicans because they’re against any remedies such as regulations or paying rail workers decently, and Democrats because they just busted a rail strike that was seeking to improve the very conditions that led to this crash.

Joe “I’m a train guy” Biden’s next choo-choo photo-op is gonna be awkward.

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Incredible Billionaire Adventures

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The pandemic’s still going (and worsening), half the country’s on fire, and the other half’s alternating between floods and heat waves every other week. This as the backdrop for billionaires racing to recreate something the Soviets first accomplished (Sorry, Alan Shepard and John Glenn.) almost 60 years ago doesn’t say much for the free market’s ability to conquer space.

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