SpaceX


The Tesla Death Trap!

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A Tesla killed Mitch McConnell’s billionaire sister-in-law. It’s a tragedy … that she wasn’t driving with him at the time. The circumstances that caused that accident (and the countless other accidents) revealed a lot of Tesla “features” that ensure I’ll never set foot in one. Shifting gears via touchscreen, doors that require disassembly if the power fails, spontaneous battery combustion, the list goes on.

Everyone now knows Elon Musk is a drug-addled racist, and America’s full of ’em, but this one happens to be a billionaire who gets a ton of subsidies from the government and has access to a lot of its military and space infrastructure. He also controls the former Twitter, which most governmental officials and public figures still use despite it turning into a hub of stochastic terrorism and the worst jokes you’ve ever seen.

Hopefully my view of the eclipse next month isn’t spoiled by his shitty satellites.

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