IDENTIFIED Aerial Phenomena

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Balloon panic is in its second week, and we’re probably a week away from a drone strike on a science fair. I can see my apartment on Google Street View, so a spy balloon would have to float through my window to invade my privacy any further.

Neither party wants focus on the train derailment in East Palestine, Ohio. Republicans because they’re against any remedies such as regulations or paying rail workers decently, and Democrats because they just busted a rail strike that was seeking to improve the very conditions that led to this crash.

Joe “I’m a train guy” Biden’s next choo-choo photo-op is gonna be awkward.

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