Maybe all of the Senate Democrats excuses are valid, but excuses don’t win elections. Results, and enthusiasm (remember that?) do.
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We just had a lengthy heat wave here in Boston. This year’s droughts are going to make last year’s wildfires look like nothing. New records for carbon in the atmosphere are being set every week.
And the infrastructure bill that may or may not happen is having all climate mitigation efforts stripped out of it.
Oh, yeah, and the pandemic is still not under control, despite what it feels like here in America.
See you next week with more jokes!
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It’s pretty neat that the next election will be stolen because of these two refusing to end the filibuster. (And John Roberts for gutting the Voting Rights Act in the first place.) Democracy was fun for the few decades we had it.
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Not only should Amazon be broken up, Jeff Bezos’ fortune AND his acutal physical form should be as well. This monster amassed even greater fortunes during the pandemic, while subjecting his employees to grinding in miserable conditions.
Eventually he and Elon Musk will monopolize enough of the world, that they’ll be the only two businessmen I have to know how to draw.
(panel 1 – Title above Jeff Bezos pushing a shopping cart containing Earth.)
Jeff Bezos’ Monopoly Spree
(panel 2 – Jeff Bezos with the MGM logo, with the lion replaced with Scabby the Rat.)
Bezos, “After acquiring MGM, I’m replacing their iconic lion with a union-busting scab.”
(panel 3 – Jeff Bezos dressed as James Bond, showing of a license to kill.)
Bezos, “Then casting myself as the next 007, with a license to kill small businesses.”
(panel 4 – Jeff Bezos with the Toxic Avenger.)
Bezos, “I’m also buying Troma Entertainment, and rebranding the Toxic Avenger as a champion of employee abuse.”
(panel 5 – Jeff Bezos at a storage unit with VHS tapes, film reels, and other old media.)
Bezos, “I even bought your home movie library, so you now have to subscribe to Prime to watch your precious memories!”
(panel 6 – Jeff Bezos blowing dust of the Sherman Antitrust Act of 1890.)
Bezos, “My latest purchase is the United States’ antitrust laws. They weren’t using them anyway.”
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My second Pfizer shot fully ripens in a few hours, and I’ll probably eat at a local restaurant’s outdoor patio to celebrate. Not enough people are vaccinated (Especially children, who aren’t even vaccine eligible yet!), so I’m not going as hog-wild as the CDC, governors, and mayors across the nation are recommending.
And even the cicadas should play it safe this summer. There’s a butt fungus out there.
(panel 1 – Title above a cicada sunbathing in a lounge chair.)
Hot Cicada Summer
(panel 2 – A cicada nymph crawling out of the ground.)
Slowly re-enter society.
(panel 3 – A cicada molting near a discarded face mask.)
Shed protective layers.
(panel 4 – a cicada eating on a leaf.)
Resume outdoor dining.
(panel 5 – Cicadas mating with a “CENSORED” bar over their abdomens.)
Relax social distancing measures.
(panel 6 – An exhausted cicada wiping its brow.)
Lay low for a decade or two.
Cicada, “Oof! I forgot how EXHAUSTING living is!”
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The only time I faced multiple rounds editorial notes while drawing “The Strip” for the NYTimes was during the siege of Gaza in 2014. If this comic had to go through the same process, I’m pretty sure only the final panel could’ve gotten through unchanged.
(panel 1 – Title that’s spelled out on an eye chart.)
Both Sides Blindness
(panel 2 – A sommelier examining a map of Israel’s expanding territory.)
sommelier, “It’s only apartheid if it’s from South Africa. This is a sparkling authoritarian ethnostate.”
(panel 3 – President Joe Bien at a lectern.)
Biden, “Israel has a right to defend itself. By saying nothing else, I’m merely IMPLYING Palestinians have NO RIGHTS.”
(panel 4 – A reporter writing and having an “A-HA!” moment.)
reporter, “The IDF’s actions sound indefensible … until I describe them with a passive voice!”
(panel 5 – A proudly ignorant person.)
person, “An open-air prison and a nuclear state with an arsenal funded by the United States are equal to me … a willful idiot.”
(panel 6 – An evangelical doomsday prepper clutching a Bible and a gas can in a bunker.)
prepper, “Who cares?! BOTH SIDES exist only to fulfill my Armageddon fantasies!”
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Facebook’s oversight board made some news this week for issuing a toothless decree about kicking a certain ex-president off their platform. A shame actual regulations don’t apply to them and they get to make up their own on the fly.
(panel 1 – Title above a floating orb with Mark Zuckerberg’s face.)
Facebook’s Oversight Orb
(panel 2 – The Zuckerberg Orb hovering over someone typing at a computer.)
typing inset, “The Democrats are harvesting baby blood to commit SUPER VOTER FRAUD!”
Zuckerberg, “Not true, but the algorithm’s gonna spew this into everyone’s feed!”
(panel 3 – The Zuckerberg Orb hovering over a board meeting at Facebook headquarters.)
executive, “Should advertisers be running these invasive, creepy ads?”
Zuckerberg, “You say ‘creepy;’ I say ‘HIGHLY TARGETED.'”
(panel 4 – The Zuckerberg Orb hovering over someone texting.)
texting inset, “Bill Gates put tracking microchips in the vaccines!”
(panel 5 – The Zuckerberg Orb hovering over someone texting.)
Zuckerberg, “Keep posting that while you continue to let me track everything you do!”
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I’m still a week away from my second shot, so I’ll be acting like there’s still a pandemic on, ‘cause there is.
(panel 1 – Title on a CDC report.)
Updated CDC Guidance
(panel 2 – On a CDC slide with a person speaking to an intubated patient.)
Whining about minor vaccine side-effects won’t get much sympathy from people on ventilators.
person, “My shoulder hurts!”
(panel 3 – On a CDC slide with a mortar board, diploma and a “No Phones” symbol.)
Avoid social media until you’ve completed online courses on epidemiology and statistics.
(panel 4 – On a CDC slide with a couple dining outdoors.)
Outdoor dining is SAFE, if you tip AT LEAST 30%, and actively lobby your representatives to end the TIPPED MINIMUM WAGE.
(panel 5 – On a CDC slide, Tucker Carlson yelling at a masked child.)
Concerned that a stranger’s still wearing a mask? MIND YA BUSINESS!
(panel 6 – On a CDC slide, a globe injected with multiple syringes.)
Release the intellectual property protections of the vaccines, so millions won’t die needlessly …
Or if you’re selfish, so resistant variants won’t emerge and affect YOU, the protagonist of the universe.
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