Matt Gaetz


Speaker of the House Auditions

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Nine months after he barely squeaked into the speakership, Kevin McCarthy was ousted by the Ding-Dong Caucus. I was pleasantly surprised the Democrats didn’t bail him out for the sake of “norms, bipartisanship” or some other bullshit. McCarthy refused to make any concessions to earn that kind of unprecedented act and deserves to be the historical footnote he is.

More shutdowns and parliamentary brinkmanship are sure to ensue, but they were already going to under McCarthy. Best to make the Republicans flail around and demonstrate just how unfit for office they’ve always been.

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Kevin McCarthy’s Inquiries

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This week McCarthy announced the House’s Biden impeachment inquiry that the Ding Dong Caucus demanded to get their support for his speakership. It’s going to be real dumb and full of garbage that the media will dutifully cover as straight news to appear to be objective observers of the two parties.

In good news, no actual legislation except some stopgap thing to avert a shutdown will get through Congress this session, then nothing is going to happen legislatively until after the 2024 election. So hopefully I won’t have to draw this guy again for a while.

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House Programming Guide

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This Congress is barely a month old and already beyond parody. I suppose I’ll continue mocking them until the last checks on their power are gone and our country completes its final spin down the toilet bowl.

I didn’t watch the State of the Union, since that’s always old news by the end of the week it happens. All the genius pundits say it’s the unofficial start of the 2024 campaign, so say goodbye to any meaningful legislation getting passed through this bunch.

I watched The Menu instead. Highly recommended and not just because of the shoutout to my hometown of Brockton, MA.

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Republican Couphemisms

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The riot/insurrection/coup by the MAGA mob was very bad, but what was even worse are the members of Congress who voted to throw out the election results to pander to that mob.

They must be expelled or we’re in for four years of escalations and mob violence. Sorry to put a downer on any virtual Inauguration parties you’re planning next week.

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Matt Gaetz’s Impeachment Stall Tactics

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This failson makes Trey Gowdy look like a dignified statesman. If you’re old enough to remember the Brooks Brothers Riot, you know we’re in for a very bad time. And somehow Dick Cheney is still alive for this one, too. No silver linings.

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