comics


Canada’s Countermeasures

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Trump’s tariffs have been on and off again several times over the past few weeks, with threats of annexation of various former allies sprinkled throughout. Each country we’ve turned our back on deserves a full comic, and maybe I’ll tackle them all eventually, but my proximity to Canada guaranteed they’d be first.

My mother’s grandmother was Quebecois, and made the ultimately unfortunate decision to move to New Hampshire. I’ve crossed that border many times and it’s always been a pleasant formality. Now I don’t think I can go up there without apologizing so much it’d make a Canadian blush.

Even if the tariffs never go into effect, the constant threat of them has caused tremendous instability and retaliatory tariffs that are tanking what’s left of the economy after DOGE hobbled it. Thankfully, the 401K I don’t have remains stable at $0.

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Events at the Trump Center for the Performing Arts

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Trump firing the board of the Kennedy Center for Performing Arts is hardly the most disastrous thing this administration has done in its first month, but it has the potential to be one of the tackiest. Trump is a bitchy NYC musical theater fan who was never welcomed in that world, so he’s remaking the Kennedy Center into Branson on the Potomac.

The measles outbreak in Texas and New Mexico is the latest in what will be years of lessons that the federal government actually did stuff before an apartheid guy was allowed to dismantle it for the LOLZ. The wrecking of our meager medical infrastructure and safety net are going to have even worse outcomes the longer this goes on, and if 2020’s covid response is any indication, people are going to get even crazier.

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Whack Apps

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I was trying to escape the news by enjoying the NHL’s 4 Nations Tournament, but since the USA is now a belligerent pariah state, that wasn’t possible. I’m glad Canada won. I hope we don’t have to change the name of poutine to “Freedom Slop” or that our northern neighbors get nuked.

Even my attempt to write some goofy jokes about apps couldn’t avoid the reality of our country’s rapid descent into authoritarianism. I was certainly not alone in being a Cassandra about the dangers of not prosecuting and removing everyone involved with January 6th from political life, but everyone with influence wanted to move on and pretend 2017-2021 never happened.

We’d be in a much better place if people listened to us instead of Chris Coons, who declined to call witnesses at the impeachment trial four years ago so he and the Democrats could fuck off for Valentines Day.

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The MAGA Zone

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Three weeks in and things are looking pretty bleak. Democrats are still acting like they can wait this out until the midterms, but who knows what’ll be left of the federal government by the time Elon’s done stripping it for parts and lining his already bloated pockets.

On a positive note, a lot of the original Twilight Zone episodes hold up incredibly well over 60 years later. I stuck with the ones everyone knows, but I watched “Night of the Meek” for the first time over the holidays and it got me back to revisiting some of the more obscure ones.

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Meet the Coup Kids

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All the times I’ve complained about gerontocracy are moot now that Elon Musk’s unelected DOGE babies are effectively in control of the country. Sure, their actions are technically illegal, but no one is going enforce the laws that say that, so here we are.

One of them was forced to resign today for being too racist, which is quite the accomplishment with this administration. He could also face being grounded for two, maybe three weeks tops.

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The Pacifists’ Playbook for Frustrating Fascists

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With federal employees thrown into the chaos of this administration, a declassified CIA fascism sabotage guide has been making the rounds. Anyone who’s worked in an office setting should be familiar with these tactics. Instead of the one dumbass that’s employed in every office, it suggests everyone become one themselves. This is an excellent tactic when more overt methods can lead to immediate firings or worse.

If you’re not a pacifist, you could still use this advice to fight fascists, in addition to your fists. Theoretically. I don’t want to be accused of inciting anything against our dear fascist goons recently installed at the top levels of government who probably don’t yet know how to read this on the NSA’s computers.

I probably shouldn’t have used the obscure hockey term deke (a feint to cause your opponent to move in a desired direction) instead of American football’s play-actions, trick plays, sneaks etc. but I’m a sucker for alliteration. To use another Canadian term, sorry.

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