Monthly Archives: September 2018

Brett Kavanaugh’s Character Witnesses

This cartoon almost has fewer men in it than the “Women for Kavanaugh” bus.

I still think Kavanaugh will be confirmed, for the very reason cited in the Mitch McConnell panel. But the longer the process is drawn out, and the more Republicans have to defend him, the less time they have for other shenanigans leading up to the midterms.

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Stormy Daniels Describes a Dick

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If you’ve been in a hole all day, you might’ve missed a blurb from Stormy Daniels’ forthcoming book. In it, she describes Trump’s wang as a mushroom, like Toad from Mario Kart among Yeti-like pubes.

She deserves to be our nation’s next poet laureate.

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Centrist Mart

Hurricane Florence is just beginning to make landfall, and gas lines 30 miles north of me are exploding entire neighborhoods, and who knows how bad the news’ll be tomorrow. So I dusted off an evergreen idea I had, and shoehorned in a Brett Kavanaugh punchline.

The primaries that dominated the spring and summer were all about the choice between establishment centrists and actual progressives. Everybody knows I think centrists can go pound sand. They have no ideology. But now that the midterm general elections are coming up, vote for the milquetoast Democratic centrist on your ballot if you must.

I live in the deep blue state of Massachusetts, so I’ll be writing in Noam Chomsky and Tom Lehrer instead of any uncontested incumbent Democrat I can’t stomach.

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