Bill O’Reilly’s out at Fox News, because like Roger Ailes, he is bad at masturbating. Besides a brief cameo in a recent cartoon, the last one I did that was devoted to him was when he lied about being a war correspondent in Grenada.
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We heard all about United Airlines roughing up a passenger who refused to “volunteer” the seat he paid for, but the goons who did it were security and Chicago Police.
The line between privatized security and police forces is becoming increasingly thin, and corporations are now putting arbitration clauses in their contracts and user agreements to get around the justice system.
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Trump aide Sebastian Gorka is a fuckin’ nut. A Nazi-affiliated nut , to be precise.
If you crave more Gorka content, Gorkent, don’t miss James Adomian’s Gorka impression on Chapo Trap House.
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After denying Merrick Garland’s appointment to the Supreme Court for nearly a year, Mitch McConnell blew up the rulebook to put Neil Gorsuch into dead Scalia’s seat. If they ever regain power, the Democrats would be wise to use the same tactics to shut out Republicans, instead of pining for the “Days of Decorum” that only existed in pundits’ fever dreams.
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President Trump won’t throw out the first pitch at the Nationals’ home opener. The White House claims there’s a scheduling conflict, but we all know it’s to avoid an embarrassing thunder of boos.
It’s tempting to assume our doughy, old, and large-assed president can’t throw a pitch over the plate, but he apparently did that at a Jimmy Fund fundraiser at my beloved Fenway Park. But he looked like a goon doing it.
Whether he actually donated anything to the Jimmy Fund is up to David Farenthold to find out.
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The Mütter Museum is the best thing about Philly. They already have a tumor removed from Grover Cleveland’s jaw, so donations from the current administration are a possibility.
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Rex Tillerson doesn’t like his job , and it’s the only relatable thing about the rich former Exxon executive. He’s already missed events due to “fatigue” after less than two months on the job.
An hour before I finished this, it was announced that he’d attend the NATO meeting after all , but only after a week of criticism.
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Shaquille O’Neal recently “joked” about Flat Earth Theory, which for some reason is having a renaissance among current and former NBA players. I will mock any dummy who mentions that or chemtrails, but who am I to judge? I believe the Pee Tape is real and influencing every decision Trump makes.
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