I’m still a week away from my second shot, so I’ll be acting like there’s still a pandemic on, ‘cause there is.
(panel 1 – Title on a CDC report.)
Updated CDC Guidance
(panel 2 – On a CDC slide with a person speaking to an intubated patient.)
Whining about minor vaccine side-effects won’t get much sympathy from people on ventilators.
person, “My shoulder hurts!”
(panel 3 – On a CDC slide with a mortar board, diploma and a “No Phones” symbol.)
Avoid social media until you’ve completed online courses on epidemiology and statistics.
(panel 4 – On a CDC slide with a couple dining outdoors.)
Outdoor dining is SAFE, if you tip AT LEAST 30%, and actively lobby your representatives to end the TIPPED MINIMUM WAGE.
(panel 5 – On a CDC slide, Tucker Carlson yelling at a masked child.)
Concerned that a stranger’s still wearing a mask? MIND YA BUSINESS!
(panel 6 – On a CDC slide, a globe injected with multiple syringes.)
Release the intellectual property protections of the vaccines, so millions won’t die needlessly …
Or if you’re selfish, so resistant variants won’t emerge and affect YOU, the protagonist of the universe.