vaccinations


Mail Order Crap for COVID Quacks

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It’s college move-in week here in Boston, and variants from across the nation are coming to mingle among every Solo cup in the state. Several friends have recently gotten breakthrough cases (nothing severe, thanks to vaccines), so conditions are probably ripe for another fall surge.

Enjoy summer’s final, rattling breaths!

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Re-Updated CDC Guidance

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I did the first version of this cartoon almost exactly three months ago, when the CDC said the vaccinated could unmask indoors, which relied on the honor system. In America. Where a third of the country won’t even agree the pandemic exists.

It was a bad idea then, and it took the Delta Variant to become the predominant strain for them to finally reverse their decision. The people who need to follow that advice the most won’t, and now here we are.

Maybe we’ll get lucky and I won’t be drawing a third in this series for Halloween, but I doubt it.

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Pandemic Summer Games

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We had a month when it seemed like the vaccines were turning the tide on the pandemic, before the vaccine-ignorant let the Delta Variant run rampant in their dumb lungs.

Provincetown, MA is having rapid increases in infections, even among the vaccinated. Thankfully deaths aren’t following suit, but it seems obvious our honor system experiment was as doomed as all of us who kept our masks on indoors assumed it would be.

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Facebook’s Oversight Orb

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Facebook’s oversight board made some news this week for issuing a toothless decree about kicking a certain ex-president off their platform. A shame actual regulations don’t apply to them and they get to make up their own on the fly.

(panel 1 – Title above a floating orb with Mark Zuckerberg’s face.)
Facebook’s Oversight Orb
(panel 2 – The Zuckerberg Orb hovering over someone typing at a computer.)
typing inset, “The Democrats are harvesting baby blood to commit SUPER VOTER FRAUD!”
Zuckerberg, “Not true, but the algorithm’s gonna spew this into everyone’s feed!”
(panel 3 – The Zuckerberg Orb hovering over a board meeting at Facebook headquarters.)
executive, “Should advertisers be running these invasive, creepy ads?”
Zuckerberg, “You say ‘creepy;’ I say ‘HIGHLY TARGETED.'”
(panel 4 – The Zuckerberg Orb hovering over someone texting.)
texting inset, “Bill Gates put tracking microchips in the vaccines!”
(panel 5 – The Zuckerberg Orb hovering over someone texting.)
Zuckerberg, “Keep posting that while you continue to let me track everything you do!”

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Updated CDC Guidance

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I’m still a week away from my second shot, so I’ll be acting like there’s still a pandemic on, ‘cause there is.

(panel 1 – Title on a CDC report.)
Updated CDC Guidance
(panel 2 – On a CDC slide with a person speaking to an intubated patient.)
Whining about minor vaccine side-effects won’t get much sympathy from people on ventilators.
person, “My shoulder hurts!”
(panel 3 – On a CDC slide with a mortar board, diploma and a “No Phones” symbol.)
Avoid social media until you’ve completed online courses on epidemiology and statistics.
(panel 4 – On a CDC slide with a couple dining outdoors.)
Outdoor dining is SAFE, if you tip AT LEAST 30%, and actively lobby your representatives to end the TIPPED MINIMUM WAGE.
(panel 5 – On a CDC slide, Tucker Carlson yelling at a masked child.)
Concerned that a stranger’s still wearing a mask? MIND YA BUSINESS!
(panel 6 – On a CDC slide, a globe injected with multiple syringes.)
Release the intellectual property protections of the vaccines, so millions won’t die needlessly …
Or if you’re selfish, so resistant variants won’t emerge and affect YOU, the protagonist of the universe.

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Spring Book Bargains

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A shoe’s not at the center of a culture war … yet. Give it a day or two.

I’ve been reading short story anthologies during quarantine to keep things light. I just finished an Asimov one, but the next book on my nightstand is “The Grapes of Wrath.” That should be some good escapist fun that has nothing to do with our current situation.

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Coronaversary Cards

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The first anniversary gift is paper, and hopefully we’ll all be vaccinated by the second.

A whole year and over half a million dead because we couldn’t pay people to stay home and businesses to close last March. Senseless. Even with the end potentially in sight, governors are opening up their states for more surges, while the new Congress and President kiss centrists’ butts to water down a relief bill that was already too little, too late.

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2021 Valentine Cards

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Governors want you to go indoor dining on Valentine’s, so book your St. Paddy’s ICU while you’re at it.

A fun week to goof on Marjorie Taylor Greene, and eventually expel her, but basing the entire 2022 midterm campaign on “Q-Anon is crazy!” will get much worse results than actually passing a robust stimulus that puts dollars in voters’ wallets.

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