Senate


Susan Collins’ Troubled Mind

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The last thing people in Maine* want is someone from Massachusetts telling them what to do. But maybe they’ll follow their New Hampshire neighbors’ lead and stop sending Republicans to Congress.

*Becoming a state as a result of the Missouri Compromise which prolonged slavery, Maine is still rightfully part of Massachusetts, no matter what those potato and toilet paper farmers say.

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Massachusetts, Vote for Ed Markey

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The pandemic has proved that we need leaders who have plans for disasters before they happen, and Senator Markey’s been leading the way on preventing climate disaster before it’s too late, even before co-authoring the Green New Deal. He’s also more progressive than his opponent, much more than the mainstream media is leading voters to believe.

Joe has a famous last name, but even that can’t paper over his work for incarceration-happy DAs, keeping marijuana illegal so cops have a pretext to detain minorities, and “accidentally” voting to give Trump more nukes. A xerox of a mimeograph of a carbon copy of a Kennedy might be enough to get the nostalgia vote, but most of us are worried about the future, not wistful for a dynasty of the past.

Ol’ Dynasty Joe Kennedy III was also a member of a racist fraternity that explicitly claims Robert E. Lee as its “spiritual founder” until denouncing them just before launching this entitled senate bid … if he even denounced them. I was not a member of a billionaire family, yet I somehow managed to avoid joining a Confederate cosplay frat to find housing in college. It’s sketchy as hell, especially considering his work for and endorsements of hard-line district attorneys who seek to increase policing and incarceration of communities of color. If you find it as disqualifying as I do, sign this petition.

Register to vote and apply for an absentee ballot today. Our shitty Secretary of State makes it hard to vote, so you have to apply, even though there’s a fucking pandemic.

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Mitch McConnell Rewrites the Rules

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After denying Merrick Garland’s appointment to the Supreme Court for nearly a year, Mitch McConnell blew up the rulebook to put Neil Gorsuch into dead Scalia’s seat. If they ever regain power, the Democrats would be wise to use the same tactics to shut out Republicans, instead of pining for the “Days of Decorum” that only existed in pundits’ fever dreams.

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Down and Out in the Senate Races

Down and Out in the Senate RacesOne week until Election Day, and you might be surprised to learn there are other races besides the presidential one going on. Even though the House is safely gerrymandered, the Senate majority is on the line. So make sure to vote for the other stuff on your ballot once you’re done taking your top-of-the-ticket selfie.

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Mitch McConnell’s Wish List of Supreme Court Nominees

Wish List of Supreme Court NomineesJustice Scalia had the gall to croak during Obama’s presidency, so Senate Republicans are going to obstruct the appointment of his successor. I doubt stalling Scalia’s replacement is a great strategy. Even if he thinks a Republican will win in November, McConnell can’t seriously think whomever Trump (gah!), Cruz (gross!) or Rubio (duh!) would pick is worth losing control of the Senate by giving their obstructionism a sympathetic name and face in Obama’s stonewalled nominee which will likely increase Democratic turnout.

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Grand Old Pen Pals

Grand Old Pen PalsI don’t think Senator Tom Cotton’s open letter to Iran was treasonous; it was dumb. And unfortunately for the US and the rest of the world, being dumb isn’t treason. It’s practically a requirement for anyone who wants to court the Tea Party caucus.

It’s spring (or so I’ve heard from under all of the record-breaking snow) and the miserable slog towards another election has sprung. And if the apoplectic reactions from both sides regarding Hillary Clinton’s Rube Goldberg-esque email practices are any indication, it’s going to be an insufferable year and a half.

Unless the 47 Senate Republicans get their way and start another war, then I can wait out 2016 from a fallout shelter.

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