Jeff Bezos


Incredible Global News

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Conspiracy theories were less destructive before Weekly World News left checkout shelves. I loved reading that thing as a kid and I knew it was fake.

They recently came back thanks to crowdfunding, and I hope they succeed and eventually have me in their pages. It would be my greatest career achievement.

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A Cornucopia of COVID-19 Recipes

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I’ve been doing joke Thanksgiving recipes off and on for 19 years. This is the bleakest group yet. I live within 25 miles of my immediate family, and might see them masked and distanced in a yard as we exchange food we made in Tupperware. And I’m one of the lucky ones.

Stay safe so we can do this all over again for next month’s holidays.

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Meet Mike Bloomberg’s Biggest Fans

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Sharing a media market with most of New Hampshire’s population means I’m already bombarded with Tom Steyer’s faux-cornpone ads during every Bruins game. Now with Bloomberg’s $37-million ad buy, there’ll be no space to advertise everything else I’m also not buying.

I’m a sucker for pandering to the local audience, even though I haven’t been in a Boston area paper since the beginning of this decade.

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Amazon’s Amenities

Amazon’s HQ2 dog and pony show is over and the winner was never in doubt. Congratulations to Jeff Bezos and his money vault.

I focused on the Long Island City part of Amazon’s reveal, and not Northern Virginia’s Crystal City because there’s like I’m a Northeast Coast Elitist, and New York City is the southernmost city where I know anything about its local politics.

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Rich Boys’ Health Clinic

Call me a cynic, but I don’t think these three billionaires have their employees’ best interests at heart when they claimed to be working to reduce healthcare costs. Especially when one of them runs heat-exhaustion warehouses, another profits off predatory mobile home loans, and another ruined the economy and got a bonus for his efforts.

The only help a billionaire should offer is to shut up, and pay more taxes to fund single-payer health care.

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