Monthly Archives: May 2021

Jeff Bezos’ Monopoly Spree

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Not only should Amazon be broken up, Jeff Bezos’ fortune AND his acutal physical form should be as well. This monster amassed even greater fortunes during the pandemic, while subjecting his employees to grinding in miserable conditions.

Eventually he and Elon Musk will monopolize enough of the world, that they’ll be the only two businessmen I have to know how to draw.

(panel 1 – Title above Jeff Bezos pushing a shopping cart containing Earth.)
Jeff Bezos’ Monopoly Spree
(panel 2 – Jeff Bezos with the MGM logo, with the lion replaced with Scabby the Rat.)
Bezos, “After acquiring MGM, I’m replacing their iconic lion with a union-busting scab.”
(panel 3 – Jeff Bezos dressed as James Bond, showing of a license to kill.)
Bezos, “Then casting myself as the next 007, with a license to kill small businesses.”
(panel 4 – Jeff Bezos with the Toxic Avenger.)
Bezos, “I’m also buying Troma Entertainment, and rebranding the Toxic Avenger as a champion of employee abuse.”
(panel 5 – Jeff Bezos at a storage unit with VHS tapes, film reels, and other old media.)
Bezos, “I even bought your home movie library, so you now have to subscribe to Prime to watch your precious memories!”
(panel 6 – Jeff Bezos blowing dust of the Sherman Antitrust Act of 1890.)
Bezos, “My latest purchase is the United States’ antitrust laws. They weren’t using them anyway.”

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Hot Cicada Summer

This entry was posted in comics and tagged Brood X cicadas Covid-19 pandemic quarantine on by
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My second Pfizer shot fully ripens in a few hours, and I’ll probably eat at a local restaurant’s outdoor patio to celebrate. Not enough people are vaccinated (Especially children, who aren’t even vaccine eligible yet!), so I’m not going as hog-wild as the CDC, governors, and mayors across the nation are recommending.

And even the cicadas should play it safe this summer. There’s a butt fungus out there.

(panel 1 – Title above a cicada sunbathing in a lounge chair.)
Hot Cicada Summer
(panel 2 – A cicada nymph crawling out of the ground.)
Slowly re-enter society.
(panel 3 – A cicada molting near a discarded face mask.)
Shed protective layers.
(panel 4 – a cicada eating on a leaf.)
Resume outdoor dining.
(panel 5 – Cicadas mating with a “CENSORED” bar over their abdomens.)
Relax social distancing measures.
(panel 6 – An exhausted cicada wiping its brow.)
Lay low for a decade or two.
Cicada, “Oof! I forgot how EXHAUSTING living is!”

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Both Sides Blindness

This entry was posted in comics and tagged evangelicals fundamentalists Gaza Israel Joe Biden Palestine on by
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The only time I faced multiple rounds editorial notes while drawing “The Strip” for the NYTimes was during the siege of Gaza in 2014. If this comic had to go through the same process, I’m pretty sure only the final panel could’ve gotten through unchanged.

(panel 1 – Title that’s spelled out on an eye chart.)
Both Sides Blindness
(panel 2 – A sommelier examining a map of Israel’s expanding territory.)
sommelier, “It’s only apartheid if it’s from South Africa. This is a sparkling authoritarian ethnostate.”
(panel 3 – President Joe Bien at a lectern.)
Biden, “Israel has a right to defend itself. By saying nothing else, I’m merely IMPLYING Palestinians have NO RIGHTS.”
(panel 4 – A reporter writing and having an “A-HA!” moment.)
reporter, “The IDF’s actions sound indefensible … until I describe them with a passive voice!”
(panel 5 – A proudly ignorant person.)
person, “An open-air prison and a nuclear state with an arsenal funded by the United States are equal to me … a willful idiot.”
(panel 6 – An evangelical doomsday prepper clutching a Bible and a gas can in a bunker.)
prepper, “Who cares?! BOTH SIDES exist only to fulfill my Armageddon fantasies!”

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Facebook’s Oversight Orb

This entry was posted in comics and tagged conspiracy theory Facebook Mark Zuckerberg social media vaccinations on by
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Facebook’s oversight board made some news this week for issuing a toothless decree about kicking a certain ex-president off their platform. A shame actual regulations don’t apply to them and they get to make up their own on the fly.

(panel 1 – Title above a floating orb with Mark Zuckerberg’s face.)
Facebook’s Oversight Orb
(panel 2 – The Zuckerberg Orb hovering over someone typing at a computer.)
typing inset, “The Democrats are harvesting baby blood to commit SUPER VOTER FRAUD!”
Zuckerberg, “Not true, but the algorithm’s gonna spew this into everyone’s feed!”
(panel 3 – The Zuckerberg Orb hovering over a board meeting at Facebook headquarters.)
executive, “Should advertisers be running these invasive, creepy ads?”
Zuckerberg, “You say ‘creepy;’ I say ‘HIGHLY TARGETED.'”
(panel 4 – The Zuckerberg Orb hovering over someone texting.)
texting inset, “Bill Gates put tracking microchips in the vaccines!”
(panel 5 – The Zuckerberg Orb hovering over someone texting.)
Zuckerberg, “Keep posting that while you continue to let me track everything you do!”

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