Yearly Archives: 2018

Stormy Daniels Describes a Dick

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If you’ve been in a hole all day, you might’ve missed a blurb from Stormy Daniels’ forthcoming book. In it, she describes Trump’s wang as a mushroom, like Toad from Mario Kart among Yeti-like pubes.

She deserves to be our nation’s next poet laureate.

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Centrist Mart   Recently updated !

Hurricane Florence is just beginning to make landfall, and gas lines 30 miles north of me are exploding entire neighborhoods, and who knows how bad the news’ll be tomorrow. So I dusted off an evergreen idea I had, and shoehorned in a Brett Kavanaugh punchline.

The primaries that dominated the spring and summer were all about the choice between establishment centrists and actual progressives. Everybody knows I think centrists can go pound sand. They have no ideology. But now that the midterm general elections are coming up, vote for the milquetoast Democratic centrist on your ballot if you must.

I live in the deep blue state of Massachusetts, so I’ll be writing in Noam Chomsky and Tom Lehrer instead of any uncontested incumbent Democrat I can’t stomach.

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Ture Turnbull for MA State Rep.

My friend and neighbor Ture Turnbull is running to represent our 11th Suffolk District in Massachusetts’ House of Representatives. If you live in Jamaica Plain, Roslindale, Roxbury or Dorchester, you might be in our district. Find out with this simple form, then vote for him on September 4th. I’m so convinced he’s the best choice to represent us, I made my first local issue comic:

In a deep blue state like ours, it would be easy to think midterm primary elections don’t matter. But the State House of Representatives has elected a conservative Speaker who chooses to ignore the Democratic supermajority at his disposal, in favor of tabling bills to protect conservative Democrats like himself from making progressive votes. Our current representative likes Speaker DeLeo’s status quo so much, they voted to end term limits for the guy!

Our State Senate has passed countless progressive pieces of legislation, such as Medicare for All, that have died in House committees, such as Ways & Means, of which the 11th Suffolk incumbent is vice-chair. With Republican governor Charlie Baker, it’s essential both Houses act to resist his catering to Massachusetts’ big business interests and serving the interests of the Trump Regime.

Our electoral process is rigged for incumbents; why else would they schedule the primary the day after Labor Day? On September 4th, show them our deep blue district won’t let Speaker DeLeo continue holding Massachusetts back.

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Brett Kavanaugh’s Rap Sheet

With all the plea deals and guilty verdicts going around this week, Republican members of Congress are scrambling to ram Brett Kavanaugh’s nomination through. Hopefully time’s running out before the public finds out he’s a scummy GOP hack who thinks Trump and all presidents should be above the law.

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Trump’s Hate Tape Stash

Anyone still waiting for evidence that Trump is racist is either lying or has been trapped in a sensory deprivation tank for at least 30 years.

Now that everything’s digital, it’s a shame that future racist presidents’ racism will be documented in the cloud, instead of a century of different mediums. Easier for future cartoonists to draw, though.

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